Tuesday, May 31, 2011


To the Lord our God belong mercies and forgivenesses, though we have rebelled against him
Daniel 9:9 KJV

He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:10-12

If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?
But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.
Psalm 130:3-5 KJV

To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence
Ephesians 1:6-8 KJV

I have been forgiven. 
I am forgiven.
I will be forgiven.
There is nothing I can do to deserve it, I don't need to deserve it, as it is a gift bestowed upon me by my God the Father and Jesus Christ out of their amazing unfathomable love and grace that cover my soul. And if God can forgive me, I forgive myself also

Monday, May 30, 2011

God is my DJ~iPod not required...

So I ran a half marathon today, my sunrise run driving me farther than I would've dreamed that day.  A small prayer turning into a wonderful blessing.

Normally I have to listen to music at least to start but this run, it just didn't fit for some reason.  The whole reason I wanted to run with the sun that morning is to enjoy nature singing it awake.

Birds and frogs rejoicing together, crickets and insects of all sorts being the orchestra, the orange glow of the sunrising through the trees spotting the path before me, I couldn't ask for more. As I ran a bird flew down beside me, and began to race!  As we ran together I began to pass-for it is rather difficult to keep the pace of a bird (a fast bird for his size though might-I-add) he then took off in flight, and whooped me...till we meet again dear friend...later I had to run under fallen trees and never realized how the beauty of a storm outlasts it sometimes...and now know that I love running underneath tunnels of trees! It made a whole new experience out of my normal trail run.

Yet amongst all of this my mind and heart start to wonder and I pray, oh LORD, help me keep my mind, thoughts, upon you...speak to me God, guide my heart.  YOU are the reason I am out here.

As I ran my normal long distance and was finishing up, about 2 miles left I begin to pass a nature loop a friend ran with me on once, and had the strange desire to try running it also. First passing it thinking I'm crazy and totally unprepared for that kind of a distance, not to mention my already blistered feet won't be happy by the end, I brushed it off and ran on...and then turned around and went for it!  How often of a chance was I going to get to try it with the wonderful breeze and weather God had blessed me with, and the stamina to pull it off.  As I started the trail, the beauty of nature took hold and I totally lost track of myself and time.

The beauty of that trail, nature all around you, and oh how I love running alongside the creek!  Hearing the water flow and splash over the rocks as the breeze and mist from the water brushes against you.  Then running on the wooden bridge over the water with trees gracing each side of you creating a canopy. As hard as the extra miles were I couldn't even tell I had become so absorbed within my surroundings.

As the loop ended and I began the end of my run back on the trail, I had a total new focus on God and His creations all around me, and He blessed the end of my run with two birds playing right beside me!  Fluttering with each other, it was awesome.  I wouldn't have traded those extra miles for anything. That experience for anything.  That time to bond with Him for anything. Discovering myself for anything, because I realized through this run-that running in nature with my heavenly Father is the only time I feel totally and completely myself, comfortable with myself, accepting of all that God created me to be.

So on this note, here is Day 15:

I am a tree-hugging, nature girl.  An animal loving, vegetable enthusiast, garden-growing naturalist health nut...and PROUD OF IT! God has given me a unity with nature, a respect for His creations that I don't totally understand. But, if it took Him 6 days to create them all, I will spend my lifetime enjoying them.

 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.
 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Genesis 1: 28-31 KJV

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Little ones to Him belong; they are weak but He is strong. ...

Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable. 
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength. 
Isaiah 40: 28-29 NKJV

I am strong through Him, & have a powerful God that backs me up!
He uses me to reach others in a positive way...God loves me & always enjoys my company

But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion. And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever. Amen!
2 Timothy 4:17-18 NKJV

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Me on Purpose

 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
Psalm 139: 13-16 KJV

I was prethought out, hand crafted, unique, designed and formed.  Each feature and aspect of me and my body were shaped softly by the very hands of my God that way on purpose.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Finding My Inner Cookie Monster

 When He had called all the multitude to Himself, He said to them, “Hear Me, everyone, and understand: There is nothing that enters a man from outside which can defile him; but the things which come out of him, those are the things that defile a man.
Mark 7:14-15 KJV

But Peter said, “Not so, Lord! For I have never eaten anything common or unclean.”  
And a voice spoke to him again the second time, “What God has cleansed you must not call common.”  This was done three times. And the object was taken up into heaven again.
Acts 10:14-16 KJV

I will eat the cookie dough, raw, & enjoy it...because I deserve to every time and again

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy...

Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the LORD be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant.
28And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long.
Psalm 35:27-28 KJV

I am a joyful uplifting person who speaks positive things, always giving glory to the Most High God.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Worth the Pricetag

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20

I'm the Temple of the Most High God, He resides within me & I'm worth paying for.  My body, inside & out, deserves to be treated with honor and respect. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

God always comes through...

And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.  And God looked upon the children of Israel, and God had respect unto them.
Exodus 2: 24-25 KJV

God respects me, He remembers His promises He has made to me and will come through

Monday, May 23, 2011

Hand in Hand

I have found grace in God's sight, He knows me by name and He has given me a double portion of His blessing for the future plans He has for me. He shall show me His way for my life as we walk through it together.

Then Moses said to the LORD, “See, You say to me, ‘Bring up this people.’ But You have not let me know whom You will send with me. Yet You have said, ‘I know you by name, and you have also found grace in My sight.’ Now therefore, I pray, if I have found grace in Your sight, show me now Your way...”   
  So the LORD said to Moses, “I will also do this thing that you have spoken; for you have found grace in My sight, and I know you by name.
Exodus 33: 12-13,17 NKJV

And so it was, when they had crossed over, that Elijah said to Elisha, “Ask! What may I do for you, before I am taken away from you?”
Elisha said, “Please let a double portion of your spirit be upon me.”   
So he said, “You have asked a hard thing. Nevertheless, if you see me when I am taken from you, it shall be so for you; but if not, it shall not be so.” Then it happened, as they continued on and talked, that suddenly a chariot of fire appeared with horses of fire, and separated the two of them; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven.   
And Elisha saw it, and he cried out, “My father, my father, the chariot of Israel and its horsemen!” So he saw him no more. And he took hold of his own clothes and tore them into two pieces. He also took up the mantle of Elijah that had fallen from him, and went back and stood by the bank of the Jordan.
2 Kings 2:9-13 NKJV

Sunday, May 22, 2011

And we will Walk in Fields of Gold

So Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, “Please let me go to the field, and glean heads of grain after him in whose sight I may find favor.”
And she said to her, “Go, my daughter.”  
Then she left, and went and gleaned in the field after the reapers. And she happened to come to the part of the field belonging to Boaz, who was of the family of Elimelech...   

...Then Boaz said to Ruth, “You will listen, my daughter, will you not? Do not go to glean in another field, nor go from here, but stay close by my young women...

...The LORD repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge ...

Ruth 2:2-3,8,12 NKJV

God has a purpose for every field He has me glean upon, and I will work and learn whatever lesson He has for each one until the day I WILL happen upon the field of the Boaz He has for me!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

All of me matters as He holds my heart in His hands...

My feelings, emotions, and opinions are important to God my Father. What I say and feel has value and I am important to Him.

"Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?  When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me. In God will I praise his word: in the LORD will I praise his word. "
Psalm 56:8-10 KJV

"Behold, now I have opened my mouth, my tongue hath spoken in my mouth. My words shall be of the uprightness of my heart: and my lips shall utter knowledge clearly. The spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life."
Job 33:2-4 KJV

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer"
Psalm 19:14 KJV

"Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy."
Psalm 61:1-3 KJV

Friday, May 20, 2011

And gosh darn it, people like me

"For we are labourers together with God: ye are God's husbandry, ye are God's building. According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon." 
 I Corinthians 3:9-10 KJV

People enjoy my company and actually like to be around me

"Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do."
I Thessalonians 5:11 KJV

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching."
Hebrews 10:25 KJV

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Healed though Him

"Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise."
Jeremiah 17:14 KJV

I am a healthy and well child of God & by the stripes of Jesus Christ I am healed, complete, & whole!

"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all."
Isaiah 53:4-6 KJV

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My Mosaic

"O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether...

My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. "
Psalm 139: 1-4, 15-16 KJV

I am a mosaic, a collection of broken pieces of glass that He brought together to make into the unique artwork that became me.
Hand-crafted along with my imperfections and shortcomings, for it is in those that I find true perfection, acceptance, and love through the grace of Christ Jesus.

"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. "
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 KJV

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Love is by His hands...

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8 KJV

Through Christ, I am God's beloved
I deserve to be loved, & have the right to love in return

"Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end."
John 13:1 KJV

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-40 KJV

In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
I John 4:9-11 KJV

"And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
 And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen."
Revelation 1:5-6 KJV

Monday, May 16, 2011

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." 
Proverbs 18:21 KJV

Today I began a fast, its a small one but still I feel the Lord guiding me.  I know I tend to be a bit on the pessimistic side of things in regards to myself, others can reach for the stars but all I feel I'm able to accomplish is helping to push them up to reach them. But in giving up sweets these 21 days I will replace them with the sweet fruit of my own lips...each day I will speak a positive statement about myself that counters a negative one I've made or thought of far too often in the past, along with scripture and a photo.

So today it starts.

I am beautiful in the eyes of my heavenly Father the most High God. 

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."
Psalm 139:14

"Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes. ...As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters"
Song of Solomon 1:15 & 2:2

Saturday, May 14, 2011

This is my Thank You

There is something about progress, moving forward that brings a joy hard to express. 

This week I managed to accomplish getting my mother back in the gym to workout, a goal of mine for quite some time. After that, my soul sister came over with her little blue-eyed, strawberry blonde, tiny blessing and we hung out, laughing and just being together.  The next day at work she wrote me one of the sweetest emails about how she really cherished our friendship and loved me. It helped me realize how important others are to our lives. What's being healthy if you are alone. While running that evening I pondered on the whole thing, and how much she really did mean to me.

It's always nice to know that someone who has helped you more than they could ever imagine, lets you know you've helped them also...

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. " Proverbs 27:17 KJV

This year I bought a new baithing suit and while trying it on ended up having to get an XS top and a M bottom.  At first I wasn't sure how I felt and asked my sister who was overjoyed at me actually having enough of a butt to need one.  Which ended up helping me actually be excited to be a medium!  Something I've not experienced in years...if ever really to be honest. 

Smaller was always better and yet never small enough.

"5Of such an one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities.
 6For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me.
 7And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
 8For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
 9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
 10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. " 2 Corinthians 12:5-10 KJV

Like Paul, we each have a thorn in the flesh, something we struggle with, that humanizes us and keeps our focus on how much we truely need God and cannot do it alone.

God revealed to me how far I've come and while on my run I realized I never would have gotten myself here if it wasn't for these people God blessed me with.  Marie's meer presence comforts me and helps me accept and love myself for who I am.  Christina brings out a 'big sister' type of security, comfort and my goofy-side from childhood.  They help me cherish and love the Temple of God that I am, sharpen my focus, and I can only hope I help sharpen theirs.

And there are so many others who have helped and been there for me, men and women.  My mother, father, sister Elena who has overcome so much and still continues to do so it amazes me.  Chelsi, Maxwell, Jennifer, Brian-all those who just love me...for me. They accept me and my flaws and let Christ shine forth as the noonday sun guiding me. 

Sunday, May 8, 2011

A Sad Poem from an 8-year-old's Heart

Yesterday in Florida, my Grandmother's ashes were finally buried and put to rest along with the last memorial service. In honor of this and my first Mother's Day without the oldest mother I've known, my own Mother's mom, here is a poem my second cousin (an 8-year-old girl) wrote for her that they read at the burial.

A Sad Poem
By Skylar Alonzo

It is scary in times of need.
Pray and pray till your knees can't breathe.
I hoped you would live so I can give.
I wish you weren't in heaven.
I prayed and cried so you would not die.
I tried and cared so you could say your prayers.
I cried and cried when you died.
It is hard to stay strong when you hear a sad sad song.
You were so nice even though I was wrong.
You gave me money even though you were so sick.
I loved you so much it was like a love touch.
I wish you were back and so does Zack.
I had to say goodbye even though I wanted to cry.
When you left I was so sad I wanted to cry.
I miss and love you so like cookie dough.
I have a couple of your treasures I treat them like the most valuable
things in the world.
Goodbye I must go cry.
I love you so I must say goodbye.

Friday, May 6, 2011

You are my Joy

There is something about the moon that people find inspiring. We sing about it, poets speak romantic words regarding it, it's been painted, photographed, drawn, and gazed at.  Stars accent its beauty and whisper sparkling sweet nothings as the waters act as its perfect dance partner.

I started a joy collage a while ago, collecting photos online I wanted to print of things that brought me joy...when my mother's computer got hacked into and now they are hidden in a mass of files we saved before reformatting it.  Thinking about it a few days ago and wanting to finish it, I noticed my friend updated her blog with her joy list also, and this began me pondering again on what brings me true joy as I walked outside with the morning sun's rays hitting my shoulders and face.

As things begin hitting my mind...how the sun was hitting me warming me, the sound of rain and how it falls on window panes and drips off my nose, a gentle breeze and the warm smell of honeysuckle, the moon and stars, nature, trail running, hikes, John Denver songs, dancing alone like an idiot in a shirt and undies, painting, piano, symphonies, theater, museums, lace, my hands hugging a hot cup of tea where the warmth flows through and the steam squeezes out the tiny hole upon my face, cooking and creating a new healthy dish, gardening, growing and eating vegetables, a really good hug, the idea of my fingers entangled with my love, gazing in a porch swing, quilts, cuddling, making my mom's coffee in the morning, the release of myself of feelings and emotions as pain hits my fingers holding a pen upon finishing a letter...

What exactly was it that attracted me to these things, what attributes? And as I continued to walk in the morning sun it hit me, quite literally, it was Him that attracted me to all of it.

Whenever you are generally discussing art with someone, many times you will ask what is their favorite artist, what style or technique do they enjoy the most.  This is because art, especially painting, is such an emotional thing. You cannot create art without leaving a piece of yourself behind, lost within the birth of the new creation. Its the you-ness that makes art so unique.  There has been and never will be an artist like Picasso or Van Gogh or yourself.  This is also like when you have a child, there is a piece of yourself and your partner that forever goes into that child. And there will never be another child with the same characteristics.  This is what each of us are, this is what the world is, for God.

The moon in and of itself is quite cold and ugly, a gray dusty rock that spins and revolves around this world, and yet without the light from the sun reflecting upon it, we would have no idea it was there for the most part.  This is a perfect example of us!  We are each a moon, an ugly, cold, rock, that spends its time revolving around this world.  Christ is the Sun, and it is His holy light that when we reflect brings about the true beauty created within each of ourselves that the world could never reveal. 

This concept is also how I've began to look at all the creations, all of my favorite things.  As I sat outside swinging on our porch eating my raw snack veggies I realized that it was the characteristics of God and His art.  The qualities I enjoy of nature shine of Him and His love. The pieces of Himself He put in each of them.  The joy I feel as I was swinging outside gazing at our Japanese Maple, are both aspects and characteristics of Him, each one unique to the individual enjoying them. 

God used immense emotion when He created the world, when He created us.  Christ used immense emotion when He came down in the form of a man to save us all, so He could gaze upon His own artwork, His own moon, and find joy.