Showing posts with label Song of Solomon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Song of Solomon. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

BeYOUtiful

"Lucky that my lips not only mumble
They spill kisses like a fountain
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don't confuse them with mountains
Lucky I have strong legs like my mother
To run for cover when I need it
And these two eyes that for no other
The day you leave will cry a river"
Shakira "Whenever, Wherever"



Whenever I hear that song, I think of my friend Marie saying how that line made her think of me.  I do have small breasts...and I do have stong legs-just like my mother.  It's funny how different Marie and I grew up to be in appearance, and yet, I think we are both uniquely and beautifuly designed.  
While we look similar, my two older sisters, my mother, and myself each carry a separate beauty all ours. My friend Chelsi and I get mistaken for each other quite often, but even then we're our own masterpiece, each fingerprint and strand of hair, each shadow we cast is perfectly personalized.

.

Today is National Love Your Body Day, a day when women of all sizes, colors, ages and abilities come together to celebrate self-acceptance and to promote positive body image.

So I decided to write about something that's been on my mind lately. 



I love...

...my muscular legs, thighs, calves. Partly I inherited and partly I worked hard for.

...my brown hair, brown eyes. Simple yet complex, unique, one shade that's many.  Can be hidden in the crowd or stand out alone.

...my olive skin tone, & all the different shades it comes in depending where your eyes land.

...my long piano fingers, with boney knuckles.

...my toes, abused & abstract in design.

...my small bust, chest, collar bones.

...my long neck.

...my butt. Little, but well earned.

...my pear body shape.

...my eyes, my eyelashes & all the tears that have washed them.

...my cheek bones.

...my face, shape & structure.

...my nose, slightly off-center cherry and all.  I even love how when I cry, I turn into Rudolph.

...my lips, light pink & not too big, not too small.



...my smile.

...my teeth.

...my long waist, my hips.

...my stomach, just how it is. The abs I have defined and the stomach I haven't.

...my height, not too tall.

...my curves, my shape.

...my heritage, genetics, roots.

...my drive, energy.

...my strong emotions, feelings.

...my passionate heart.

...my spirit, guided by His grace.

...my love for the Lord.

...my dorkiness & goofy since of humor.

...my love for the arts, for nature, the environment, & for God creatures.

...my weaknesses, my failures-for they have and will help shape me. They reveal to me how much I really do need God.

...my uniqueness, my artistic design. Handcrafted by my Heavenly Father.

...me! & all that it embodies




Monday, May 16, 2011

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." 
Proverbs 18:21 KJV



Today I began a fast, its a small one but still I feel the Lord guiding me.  I know I tend to be a bit on the pessimistic side of things in regards to myself, others can reach for the stars but all I feel I'm able to accomplish is helping to push them up to reach them. But in giving up sweets these 21 days I will replace them with the sweet fruit of my own lips...each day I will speak a positive statement about myself that counters a negative one I've made or thought of far too often in the past, along with scripture and a photo.

So today it starts.

I am beautiful in the eyes of my heavenly Father the most High God. 

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."
Psalm 139:14

"Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes. ...As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters"
Song of Solomon 1:15 & 2:2




Friday, April 8, 2011

The Embrace

*Originally written on March17th, 2011*

I almost didn't post this. It is going to be a personal, more intimate, blog-harder for me even than the last...which trust me was a stepping out. The only reason I have the strength to type this, besides God who inspired me in the first place, was a friend who helped me realize, although painful, open rejection is worth it if you can help just one soul. For isn't that exactly what Christ came and did, for each and every individual.  This subject came at random Tuesday morning on my way to work after a nice hour and a half oversleeping.

It all started with a song, but not one on the radio, not on my car CD player, not on my iPod or iPhone, but it played in my mind.

Natalie Imbruglia "Torn"
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around
And he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Or seem to care
What your heart is for
I don't know him anymore
There's nothin' where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothings right
I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune tellers right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now, I don't care
I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch
I'm torn
There's nothin' he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right
I'm torn
Chorus

The chorus is what played continuously in my head.  Why on earth was I thinking of this song?  I've not heard its overplayed lyrics in years...and it came to me.

It's how the world leaves us and how we first embrace God. 

We start by seeking this spouse, beautiful looking, seeming to care...so we stray from God and instead pour out ourselves-our souls, revealing ourselves and all to be fooled and left alone bound and broken on the floor.  The 'perfect' sky, perfect idealistic life is torn slowly before our eyes. Like that famous emperor we are all promised by the world such a beautiful set of clothing, when really we are too prideful to realize how naked and foolish we really are.

"Bound, naked, ashamed".  We just want to hide, but it is this state that God wants to embrace us, comfort us...and its in this state we finally surrender all of ourselves to him, revealing our more sacred, tender side.

Our intimate parts.

I think this is a major part of why our relationship with Christ is compared to a marriage, there is just something about a newlywed couple...the wedding night, and the first time she undresses before Him-before anyone.  The first time she makes herself vulnerable to someone, to touch and to be touched.  For me, its something I fear-and yet-excitedly await.  As a girl who's waiting till she's married in a society where sex is something you do with anyone when your bored.

I have a horrible fear of being vulnerable.  I try to hide my true inner feelings, oh so many to hide it hurts so badly as they bleed forth from my heart, my eyes, and my knees as my legs collapse because I'd rather run then reveal who I really am to the world.  The pain of being ashamed that you feel makes the idea of any kind of intimacy difficult to grasp, especially that kind.  I can't even stare at some people in the eyes when I can tell they see through who I am (which is why cute shoes are always important) much less having that same person stare at me, undressed inside and out.

But there must be something to this, for Solomon wrote an entire book of the bible about the relationship between a man and a women. A relationship that, at least as a girl, is what I've been awaiting my heavenly Father to bring me. My soul mate, the one who I complete, that I can unite with and create one being with. A Song of Solomon is book too often skipped and overlooked, under-read, its become the scarlet letter of the bible. Ashamed, people often try to make excuses about how it 'accidently' got inserted...But I find it to be one of the most intriguing and beautiful books within the bible. 

Now I'm not saying I believe that it represents our relationship with God, but to me it reveals why God creates sex as such an important event.  It was the first command God gave Adam and Eve. To multiply-well there is only one way to really do that. And I'm not trying to glamorize sex.  It is a very physical event between two people and not the fairytale they make little girls believe to keep them a virgin as long as possible. I realize this, but I guess as someone on the outside of things, and very inexperienced in this area (OBVIOUSLY), its what I see and feel.

Since we are the bride of Christ, we begin our marriage when we come to Him naked and broken...awaiting His touch to heal our hearts as we then lovingly embrace each other.  There is something about being in the arms of Christ that I think cannot be compared to anything earthly and yet...every true believer that has a deep relationship with the Lord understands, in their own personal way; a way no other being does. 
Not to get on this again, but we would never understand the deep meaningful intimate embrace of our Lord Jesus Christ if it wasn't for the painful rejection of the world. 

*Comment from original post:

Love it love! Thanks for being so raw and open. I LOVE reading your writings! It inspires me to want to write in my blog… if I could only bring myself to do it haha