Tuesday, February 7, 2012


So I had a controlled anger-run today...which will be the norm for awhile. I had a someone send me a picture of himself and then his "little buddy" and made a comment regarding the time I got off work and what I did for fun. After totally freaking out, I realized that when I upgraded my Facebook they re-posted my phone number. I had a suspect I thought it may be so I blocked him.  I then talked to my boss, then the campus cop to make a report where he helped me retrieve the number and will be calling him for me to let him know I don't appreciate him contacting me, ever. When I returned to the library for some reason my boss and coworkers couldn't pull his profile so I unblocked him to pull it up and lo, it's gone....and here I was starting to feel like I was jumping to conclusions, and I may still be, but how creepy is that? 

Now I am being walked to my car after work, and basically trail running outside in this beautiful early spring weather is out of the question for the moment. My walks at lunch around the building while reading are even being questioned and I've had to locate my pepper spray....the pervert.

In other news, I have yet another blood test tomorrow, this one I can't shower beforehand in case the soap causes a reaction, and is also fasting.  After this I'm being put on two more medications for a month. One is an estrogen-hormone pill I'll take for 28 days, the other is one I start on day 14 and take through day 26, which is supposed to yet again cause some bleeding 2 days after the fact.  The last time they put me on it alone for 10 days I never started so we shall see.  Then I have another follow-up appointment, this one after the routine physical I scheduled at my primary care doctor. 

So what's wrong with me you may ask, sorry I'm asking the same question.  For those who I haven't talked to about this, I'll finally be open (I guess if you've stuck around reading my blog for this long you deserve it), I haven't had my monthly cycle for over 6 months.  Why? that's what is being tested.  I started the first day of high school and was irregular from the beginning, of course being told that it's normal for the first year. Then it was normal for the first couple years, then few years until I graduated at 17 still skipping months all the time. Sometime after age 18 when they started growing closer together (more than 1 per month) I finally saw the doctor regarding them and started my trials of different birth controls, which always screwed me up by the end.  I've been told it's due to my weight, exercise habit, both of which are perfectly under control now and have been for awhile and still...nothing folks. 

I don't want a pill, I want to know why...early menopause, Celiac disease, genetics, I don't care at this point as long as I knew what! I don't want to sit here and be a birth control test subject, I don't want to take it at all honestly. I don't want to take the stupid pills they're giving me now, I'm just dealing with them since it's only temporary and will hopefully bring closure to this horrible chapter of my life.

Part of me feels that it, along with my IBS issues, are both somehow also related to the crap they keep putting into foods-by genetically modifying them or spraying them with crazy chemicals-but that's just a theory, and a subject of another blog.

Well there's my rant, sorry I just need to get it all off my chest.  I know these trials will draw me closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior Christ Jesus as it is only His strength I'm running on at this point. My faith in Him, His love and protection, are what are keeping me sane at this point.  But all I ask is that I remain in your prayers.