Running in Heavenly Fog

Running today, the beauty of autumn still lingers as winter begins to take hold.

The Holy Spirit begins to settle all around me as a fog, I run towards it and He fills my lungs. As I breathe Him in He revitalizes me. Filling my lungs with each breath, releasing all the negative events of late.

One little tear at a time, the Lord begins to cry, cry for all those hurt and hurting, cry for the unfathomable love He feels for each and every one of us as He walks with us every moment of every day. He helps me release and all of the sudden I take off. Running faster and faster...all my emotions out, my fears out, my sorrow, running myself out so I can let more of Him in.

I run as fast as I can till I have nothing left.  Then the rain changes, from tear drops of understanding to his baptism. With every drop I am reborn in His image.  Recreated within His love. I feel a bond with all the nature around me, I become one with all of His creation. We running with Him....and I feel empowered!

Now I run quickly again, but not because of running away, not to empty my spirit but to fill it!  I can't get enough of His presence. I want more of Him, bless me oh Lord, BLESS ME.

Fog lies before me again and as my body tires I push myself toward it, I need to reach it. To feel His embrace once more and as I finally approach it I feel an intense love for me, one I don't understand.  One I don't deserve but gladly accept.

I finish my run with a new rejuvenated focus on my Heavenly Father and a greater connection with nature.  I needed this and praise the Lord for those in my life who understand this bond, and help motivate me to move beyond my fears of failure, of others hurting me, and most of all my fear of letting others down and what they want for me instead of worrying about letting myself down. Of figuring out what I want for me.  I realize due to my past I've created, to keep myself away from myself.

I cannot wait to rediscover who this Child of Christ really is, once she lets go of everything holding her back.

Time Ticking Away

So much happens so quickly nowadays, it's hard to keep a hold on time and not letting it get wasted away...

Today is Leap Second Adjustment Time, one of the times that have been favored for the addition or subtraction of a second from our clock time to coordinate atomic and astronomical time. The determination to adjust is made by the International Earth Rotation Service of the International Bureau of Weights and Measures, at Paris, France.

This brings to my mind thoughts of the value of time, of seconds.  We tend to think of time as so fixed and finite but in reality, maybe not so much?

"But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." 2 Peter 3:8 KJV

How do we then define time, how does one go about having the 'time of their lives'?  I don't think humanity really has a hold of what it is to begin with.  To me then, it's the quality of our moments on this earth that I define as time.

This is something that has been bouncing within my brain-quality versus quantity of time.  We are always looking for more time, we want to live longer lives but what's the use of having a mass quantity of years here if the quality of the time was pathetic?

Who lived a fuller life, a baby who dies in the hands of its mother in perfect peace, with love and immense joy...or an extremely old man, angry and alone, with no friends and loved ones?

I think we all search for more time because we secretly realize how much of time we have wasted so far and are scared to try and discover something worthy within ourselves to express our lives by.  Maybe we all have a fear that we have no depth or quality, so we'd rather keep delaying our finish line to see if we will ever discover something worth anything. The truth is that the only good thing inside, the only thing that gives us quality, is the Lord God almighty.  Jesus within each of us, His Holy Spirit, is the only part that really can add to this life anything of value.

Strange as it is, I started this on a run (shocker I know) after a friend wanted me to help them get back into running.  Everybody who wants to always tells me that they don't want to hold me back, but in reality they aren't, they add to me.

Yes, I can run pretty far compared to some people, but also when looking at others my miles seem slow and pathetic, just a warm up for multi-day runners.  What makes a run worth anything is the experience you have during.  My time with God the Father, or wonderful conversations with friends are what truly define a good run I think, not how hard I pushed myself...not how fast I ran...not how many calories I just burned...not how high is my heart rate...not how out of breath I am...& not how many people I passed along the way.

Like with dancing, I don't think it's about how well someone danced...how on step they were, but more how much of themselves they poured into it...this is what I love about art and dance honestly, seeing people expressed so openly.

This concept I then realized applies to me whether your talking about a physical run, spiritual run, or just the running of our lives.

His Spirit raining down

*Originally written on October 2nd 2010*

These past two runs have spoken two very different messages to me.  Last week's I was emotionally upset, having a hard time dealing with some feelings and such I wont get into...when I did my studies that morning the verse He pointed out to me was Psalm 5:3

"My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning I will direct it to You, & I will look up."

When I ran the first half I basically just ran out all my emotions, stress, feelings. All the hurt, pain I felt, the open wounds...ran it all out.  I thought on the verse, and realized as much as I wanted to, wanted to shout out his glory but I couldn't, I didn't have the strength to look up.  As walls of trees passed me by, approaching the middle point I saw an opening and the pale sky and God revealed something to me.  How the sun's rays, which usually shine down to the earth from the sky didn't this time, the rays shone from the earth and radiated out.  He told me that it was okay that I couldn't lift my voice to Him that morning, it was okay that I couldn't look up.  That when I didn't have the strength to lift my head that He would come down to me, and be with me and be my strength.  after that, as I reached the middle point where I turned around, I felt all the emotional stress, all the hurt and pain release and just felt Him.  And during my run back we didn't talk, He didn't reveal any divine message to me, I just felt Him with me. Felt His love...and I was comforted for He is the Mighty Comforter, my councilor, my all in my time of need.  I fought wanting love, wanting a lover, a kiss and redirected it to Him, told Him how I know I was really just wanting Him, wanting Him to kiss me and shortly after that amongst the trees a little golden ray spot, short and sweet and I just knew it was God's way of kissing me...and a little leaf fell gracefully down and I felt like it was Him gracefully touching my cheek, wiping away my tears..And silently we just ran together in each others presence.

The second run, my run today, wasn't too amazing and revealing, just a short sweet taste of Him and His love.  I had to cut it short to keep a promise to a friend and so I ran the opposite direction I usually do, away from the sunrise.  The birds were so vocal and I felt their excitement for Him, I just pictured them singing "holy holy holy is the LORD God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come!  then as I ran over the bridge I passed the golf course (the first passing, I passed an opening to it twice) and saw how the sun had separated the colors in the sky from a deep purple (which shows Man's redemption, Christ and his royalty) to  a light pink and then golden white.  I reached where I was origionally going to stop and decided to run just a little further. Then just a half a mile later, satisfied, I turned around to head back. and passed the second opening for the golf course again and saw something that made that extra mile so much more worth it. With the small rolling hills of the golf course and a few ponds and such, through an opening of some trees, I saw their sprinklers on raining a gentle mist over everything and behind that the golden sun shining.  It reflected off of every single drop from the sprinkler-turning it from just a drop of water into a golden drop of light.  Little drops of golden light were glowing down upon everything.  What came to mind was the Spirit raining down on me...It gave that a whole new image for me and brings to mind the verse:

"Be glad then, you children of Zion,
And rejoice in the LORD your God;
For He has given you the former
rain faithfully,
And He will cause the rain to come
down for you-
The former rain,
And the latter rain in the first month."
Joel 2:23 NKJV

What's awesome about that also is at my mothers last Lady's & the Lord night (every last Friday of the month) we just began our minor prophets studies and we started with Joel! God is so amazingly awesome! He is so good and wonderful :)  He makes me happy