Running about with nowhere to go

Today I went it alone for my 5 miles and headed close to the busy street leading to the Silver Comet Trail. After the attack it's still weird for me to run there, but I really enjoyed it and did way better on my time today.  While yesterday just staying above 10 mph was good, today I stayed above 9 mph and actually hung out around 8:30 for an average mph.

I then rushed home, against my usual desire I made a quick chicken onion healthier quesadilla with avocado, salsa, and some homemade pinto beans with it...and then rushed back out to go for group workout...where Isabel and I ended up talking and having nobody show up.

I do think God used it, we had a great conversation and she helped me face some things about myself I need to deal with and work on. One being my self esteem and self confidence. I need to learn to trust myself and stand up for me. She also suggested us running a half together which I am totally game for!

Anyways we never ended up working out and I  headed back home where I tried doing some squats and lunges really quick, but I think I over stretched my right hip so squats didn't happen very well... 

ablaze

Looking over some of my old blog posts, trying to find one for a friend got me rereading a few, these in particular

BeYOUtiful

The Embrace

It's amazing how although written so long ago, it can really speak to me even now.  I realize despite all my efforts I'm still battling the same self disapproval...but I still hold the same hope :) I can see how I've grown from then till now and look over some of my walk with the Lord.

I've really recently been wanting to start back on my morning studies with the Lord, and now after meeting some wonderful fitness-minded Christians I really want to work again on improving my health. While my trip to Florida was amazing and blessed, I ate so much crap I've really and how that effects my body.  While I do believe in balance and moderation, I think I need to gain some moderation again.  So I will be trying to eat healthy again, getting back into shape and treating my temple with the respect it deserves.  Cause it's more then a bunch of crap I plop on the scale and get annoyed at once in awhile, it's me.  It's His temple and artwork...while I won't go into writing all that again, It's amazing how the passions of others can ignite you the embers of a fire that once burned so much more fierce!

Just wait, one day maybe I will be a fitness model, or at least one day I'll be able to achieve every obstacle during a race. 

Maybe one day I will look in the mirror and not find one single thing wrong with myself.

Thinking in a New Way

*Originally written on May 27th, 2010*

God has really started to reveal my wrong thought patterns I've never noticed before so I'm going to confront them, and re-write them

Wrong thought:
I feel like whenever I'm full that I'm fat & ugly
Corrected thought:
Being full does not mean I'm fat, I am thin, fit & beautiful even when I"m full

Wrong thought:
Whenever I'm hungry I'm more attractive & beautiful, I have more self esteem and confidence
Corrected thought:
Being hungry & depriving myself does not make me more attractive or thinner, I am always beautiful no matter what. I have confidence in being a child of God and his holy temple and dwelling place. I have confidence in & through him and not myself or restricting or deprivation.

I never realized that just eating had such an effect on how I viewed myself...how sad is that?  But hey, at least I know it now and I'm working on correcting it