The Female Masterpiece

Recently, the subject of women and equality has been coming up through work topics and friend's posts, and I've finally decided to write my perspective on the matter.

We are not men (shocking I know)

I don't want to be 'equal' to man, I don't think I can do anything a man does.  I am not a man, I am a women.  While we are no less than a man, we are no more than them either. I recommend everyone watch The Science of the Sexes as well as read this article from Discovery Health: Do Men & Women Have Different Brains?

^"And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Genesis 2:20-25 KJV

Women are God's creative expression of His amazing love for man.  We were made to be enjoyed, cherished, treasured, protected, and loved.  I don't want a man who is like me, I want a man.  Masculine, protective, logical & loving, tall, dark-haired (preferred), & handsome.  A guy that will make me feel petite, delicate, & beautiful.  I am part of man, a vital, elaborate & intricate, individualized, porcelain masterpiece. I don't want to be compared to a man, nor do I want to be one.  I am physically weaker but emotionally stronger.  While men carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, we carry their weight on ours along with the rest of the family.

We were made to complete each other, not be each other. Yes women are strong, smart, & capable.  We are just as capable at certain things, but in the end, were not a man (I'm not at least).  There are & will always be things that my brother-in-laws are better at then I am. But there are also things that I will always be better at then they are.  It's the even exchange.  Cats are cats and dogs are dogs, both are awesome pets but one is not the other.

Heads and tails may be on one coin but the head will never be the tail and the tail will never be the head, they will remain on opposite sides where they balance each other out.

“Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.” – This is written in the Hebrew Talmud, the book where all of the sayings and preaching of Rabbis are conserved over time."

A heavenly Father's day.

So yesterday was Father's day, an always hard to remember holiday even before my father's passing. It wasn't a day I gave much thought to, but for some reason as I sat in the early service in church it did, he did.

I miss my father.

To me was a genius, botanist, doctor and veterinarian, master craftsman, Mr. fix it, IT guy, adventure tour-guide, and I think he even worked for NASA.  He could beat anyone in arm-wrestling as well as the computer at chess, perfect griller, master of flowers, created his own variety of corn, outdoor maze designer, built the worlds largest tree swing, zip-line, and one of the best people to have with you out at the lake. He had a great sense of humor, one of the best laughs, and could have one of the creepiest (if the situation or story called). My sisters and I got to be his hat and boots as we would hang all over him while he would walk us around. He would sit us and our friends in the crazy super swing he created on our hill and pull us way back, ask if we wanted to go to the moon...and then let us fly! During storms when the power would go out, it was his little orange tip of his cigarette you would look for to come bouncing up the stairs as we would all run and grab him to protect us.

My father was a family-man.  After Christ himself, he taught us about the real definition of love thy brother (or sister in our case). That no matter what, you only got one family. One sister, mother, father, and no matter what they do, love forgives all. I can thank him for the closeness and bonds I feel with my sisters and brother-in-laws, and with my mother, and with him before he passed.

Coming from a very poor and rough childhood and not really knowing his own father or having a family was really like, he worked very hard to give us the life he did.  He was a green beret in the army, and the most physically fit of his entire platoon.  He was a medic while in the army and then left to go to complete college and worked as a campus cop full-time at the same time.  Worked hard, constantly aiming to be the perfect dad before and after the tumor really took hold.  And while things changed as the brain tumor took over more and more, his passion didn't.  He would wake up before 5am, make coffee, breakfast, feed the dogs, warm my mom's car (if needed) and see us off to school.  Not because he had to, but because he wanted to.

Daddy had his faults, we all did and still do. But loving us was something he was amazing at.  While I may not have gotten to have the normal childhood most do, I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Even near the end I can recall things like cleaning his nails for him, just talking...joking with him about Stanford and Son, listening to his often painful life stories, and just gleaning what I could of his intelligence.  He was quick to brag on all of us, even for the little things: mom's coffee, my tea, and especially Dan's birthday steak and lobster. Always thankful and appreciative for our help.

Nearing the end I can remember that all he wanted was to hold my mother's hand.  He was okay as long as she stood beside him, as she always had. The one true love of his life and hers hand-in-hand.  The pain was bearable as long as he was connected to his soul-mate. I can only hope that one day soon God will bless me with a love as strong as theirs with my own soul mate.

The last moments he waited for all three of us as well as my mother to be around him before he said his "I love yous" and departed to be with God and watch over us from above.  Now we all await the day that we will one day join him, hug him, love him.

I hope you had a happy heavenly Father's Day daddy.

LORD Love Notes

I had two little God-moments recently, His little "I love you" and "I see you" messages He sends me from time to time, which I desperately needed.

So I finally got a trail run outside, it was short but oh so sweet (and I don't just mean the smell from the flowers).  Last week or so I was debating on whether I should or not - deciding I probably shouldn't after getting ready to go, when all of the sudden I realized I couldn't find my ID. I looked all over the house to find them and began to wonder if I left them in my car...well that was it, I prayed that if I was meant to run on the trail then let them be in the middle of my car.

It was :]

So without even going back inside I drove to the trail for a short run and it was amazing.  I miss it so much!  The best part was the fact that I knew God missed me too.

The other LORD love note would be a dream I had last night.  I can't remember much but I remember that it had a gentlemen who I ended up courting.  I actually felt totally comfortable with him, to be my cuddly goofy cheesy self...someone I don't mind the idea of kissing (which is rare for me honestly) or holding their hand, resting my head on his shoulder.  And my mom liked him too, which is a big thing for me!

Anyways, it's always nice to know that He still thinks of me, and that He still remembers my heart.

Am I Part of the Cure...

While taking ride this morning at the gym with my bestie, the working recovery song started to play, a remix of Coldplay's "Clocks" and although I've heard this song many-a-time this one lyric stuck out in my thoughts

"Am I part of the cure or am I part of the disease"

Thinking on the journey both my friend and I have been on. All the struggles, trials, ups and downs. The failures, the falling upon our knees and the cries to God.  The pain...it all came with something else, the love. The love of God, our Father being shown to us through it all. The love of others, especially each other as we edify each other along this road we walk along in this life.  

I attended her graduation from college, a very tough journey and amazing accomplishment for her.  I felt honored to be included in this event.  It's been one of the best weeks I've had for awhile and while now she prepares mentally as much as physically for her congratulations reward trip with her family cruise trip to the Bahamas, I think back on all that we've been through together, these few years I've known her.

  

Through all this, all we've done wrong and right. Positive and negative what kind of impact am I leaving? What have I already left?  Through the pain and trials I still battle with inside, have I left the world a better place?  Am I helping to cure this world of this disease?  The disease of hatred? Hatred toward yourself and toward others?  It is a question I not only cannot answer, I don't feel I have the right to, I think it's one that needs to be answered by those around me.  Those who come after.

It's one that will be answered before the Great Judge, the KING of Kings & LORD of Lords.  

What kind of life did I live?  What kind of light did I shine?  What kind of love did I show?

Pride

^"I wisdom dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge of witty inventions. The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate. Counsel is mine, and sound wisdom: I am understanding; I have strength." Proverbs 8:12-14 KJV

^"When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom" Proverbs 11:2 KJV

So I have a secret, a humbling sorta something in my life I am not proud of...again.  Through past posts some are aware of my ongoing hormone/period battle. Well after many-a-tears over really dumb unexplainable things my sister FINALLY convinced me to see one of her doctors at her work and they put me on a anti-depressant (a very mild one might I just say). I am not proud of this, and hope to not be on it long, but for the time being it's kept me from crying everyday.

Why am I so ashamed of this? Especially when more than half the world is on some sorta medication.  Well while just being against drugs in any form anyways...I dunno, maybe because I feel like I am supposed to be 'not of this world'. When you get down to it though, it's really more about my own pride as a believer. 

^"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." 1 John 2:15-17 KJV

"The good christian wouldn't need these" my mind keeps telling me, "they would be able to pray it away; their faith is stronger then yours...they have a better relationship with God then you do. Some Christian I am. I failed at one of the most basic of all of His requirements, loving thyself".

My pride says I should be strong enough to overcome this, my pride calls me a failure.  I fear the judgement from those at church if they were to find out. The hurtful words my brothers & sisters in Christ would say behind my back. 

^"The highway of the upright is to depart from evil: he that keepeth his way preserveth his soul. Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud." Proverbs 16:17-19 KJV

"A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit." Proverbs 29:23 KJV

I prayed beforehand and this is where He guided me. But why, why not just 'fix' me?  My hormones, cycle, emotions...fix it all. Well, I am not God Almighty for certain, but maybe because my pride would get in the way. Let's be honest, I can't say I would probably give Him the credit and glory He deserved if He did.  I wouldn't realize how much I need and rely on Him, even for the little overlooked things.  I wouldn't learn the painful lesson of humility. 

^"For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: all these evil things come from within, and defile the man." Mark 7:21-23 KJV

I don't completely grasp why God never fully healed my father of his brain tumor, but I know that he is in heaven now because of it and I know that many others are just by watching him live with a tumor and without a healing. I know things are better for it. Now, could things have worked out just as awesome if he was healed? I'm certain they would have, but that doesn't matter now. My dad is in heaven and I'll get to be with him for all eternity, love and show him the respect  I should have when he was alive.  I don't claim to understand why I still have the health issues I do, I work out and eat as healthy (and balanced) as possible.  I try to take care of myself in all aspects: spiritually, physically, and mentally...but for whatever the reason, weather I don't have enough faith or something else, I know God will and is using this to shape me into a better person.  It is through my failures and shortcomings that I grow to become a more Christ-like christian. 

With each step I learn to lean more and more upon Him

"Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!

 Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of man: thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.

Blessed be the LORD: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city."

Psalm 10:3-5 KJV 

Heavenly Auras

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16 KJV

Random thought I had one day that I've meant to post on for awhile...most people read this verse and think figuratively. The light being the light of Christ in our hearts shining through us by love, but what if this light He emits within us actually could be seen?  What if this light was truly what auras are all about?

The first chiropractor I ever went to believed in auras. He actually had a photograph of one of his client's aura before and after being adjusted. While I've no idea what a negative aura versus a positive aura really looks like, that's just a physical example of how auras are connected to us.

There are also people referred to as energy vampires due to their aura's absorbing the energy and lights of other peoples around them. But if someone can negatively affect others then why not positively?  Maybe just by loving Christ and holding Him inside us, living for Him, our aura will be His light shining through us...a heavenly aura.

Just a quick strange thought!

Here are some links:

Aura: Wikipedia

Aura Color Meanings

Closings

There is a song by Semisonic that says "Closing time...every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

I can only believe that God 'popped' it into my brain because it really spoke to me today, while I walked outside in the gorgeous weather...to my car so I can drive to the gym and workout instead of running outside on the trail. Why?  My stalker of course, while nothing more has happened, since this would be the second scare (I've had one previously a few years back), I told everyone I wouldn't run on the trail alone for awhile.

It's just now, with the time change keeping it sunny much later and the amazing temperatures and gentle breeze that this truly becomes difficult.


I've really been working at not letting it steal my joy, not letting the creepo that sent me those stupid texts, or the old man who authored the crazy letter I now have to keep forever, to take that from me also.  It's kind of ironic, I started as a social runner and really had to work at adjusting to running alone, to accepting that no one wanted to run with me.  But now I've grown so accustomed to running with the Lord and having that quiet-time, quality alone-time with Him in nature that the idea of only being able to run with others is  hard for me to accept. Yes, supposedly after a while I should be able to run alone again on the trail, but will it ever be the same, or will I always be worrying someone, perhaps occasionally myself, every-time I do?

All I can think of is that maybe God is using this to close that door, and open another.  I've always wanted the person that God has for me to be someone I can do stuff with and not feel like I annoy them, be active with, hold hands and just hangout with. Someone who would enjoy being around me always, loving me, and take part in my healthy lifestyle.  So maybe this is in preparation for that person. Maybe the Lord took everyone away from me for a time to help my relationship with Him to cultivate, strengthen.  And now that I have an unshakable bond with Him, now that I know and am completely confident that He really is all I need no matter what, He is beginning to prepare for uniting me with my soul mate.

Honestly this thought made me jealous of my private-time with God, will I never get that once I am married?  What will become of my runs with the Lord?  And then it came to me, why can't I share my God-time with my future-spouse? If we really are uniting and becoming one flesh, then shouldn't we bond with our heavenly Father together? His relationship with God is a major part of what I look for in a person, shouldn't we share and grow that relationship together?  This doesn't mean I wont get my own moments with just God as His daughter, but maybe my solitary long runs with Him are meant to one day be shared with a third person...what's the harm in that?  There's enough God in this universe to share.

This is just another step in preparation for bringing into my life whomever the Lord has for me.