I'm Only Responsible for Myself

In the end, it's only going to be God & me...me & God, no one else, so what I do is all that matters

It's also all I can control. That and my emotional response...I'm still working on not letting the injustices that I see going on around me upset me. I tend to have a high moral and ethical standard for myself and some of those around me so I'm constantly having to remember that.

Why is it that some people, think that they are good people, making them better then others, which in turn puts them above the law, above the rest of us? That the same integrity and ethics don't apply to them anymore.

I hate to say it but there are many Christians I see do this all the time.

They are a good little christian so they are just "blessed" with the privilege to do what they want, but really if you were a true God-fearing soul, how could you honestly face the LORD Almighty and know

that you mistreat others and disrespect His creations, thus disrespecting Him. I don't know, I mean some people would say I'm blowing it out of proportion but as I stated earlier, I hold myself to a very high standard, so if I can see things this way, why can't others?

Are they messed up or is it my point of view that is?

And what makes a person good anyhoo? How does one believe in good?

I like how google defines the term:

good

/go͝od/

Adjective
To be desired or approved of.

Noun
That which is morally right; righteousness.

Adverb
Well: "my mother could never cook this good".

Synonyms
adjective. nice - kind - fine
noun. benefit - profit - advantage - avail - welfare - use
adverb. well - nicely - fine - right - okay



I guess really good is, by definition, largely a self-determined term. We each decide what, for us, is morally right or righteous. My definition derives from the way I was raised, with two hard-working God-fearing parents, each with an amazing level of integrity and love for others. I try everyday to hold up to that, to what I feel the Lord expects of me, of what I expect of myself.

Since I have Christ within me, I expect only the best.

And maybe I'm a perfectionist but I'd rather fail and attempting perfection then to never try to reach it. My standards are way out of my reach but I'd rather break my arm and see how far I can make it then to just sit still and never aim at all. When I have my one-on-one with my heavenly Father I want to hear

"21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord." Matthew 25:21 KJV

But I must also realize that I cannot define "good" for others. Each of us has to determine how we wish to write it within our hearts. And that will change how we view not only ourselves, but others.

We each see others through the same eyes we see ourselves.

Just remember they aren't you. Don't let their actions determine you.


Here is Merriam-Webster's definition just for GOOD measure (teehee):

Defining Passion

I recently discussed with a friend our beliefs, and when I really began to have my passion and form my foundation spiritually. Honestly I was saved when I was nine years old after my mother watched a hell-fire preacher and scared the poop out of me of going to hell, I really didn't care much after that until the age fifteen when I doubted my salvation and wanted physical proof that I was saved (mainly in the form of God coming down and audibly telling me I was honestly). It took a while and many prayers to get past that point and to just trust Him that I rested safely in His almighty hands.  I had a relationship with God, but only in the form of fear of separation. 

I later really formed my beliefs after a Mormon friend on his mission asked me some questions in one of his letters. I remember after reading it, I sat in the bath tub and thought to God how on earth am I supposed to answer all these questions? After getting out I wrapped myself in a towel and before even getting dressed I sat myself at my desk and prayed to the Lord to help me and began to write.

I cut the introduction off and posted the body of the letter here, if there is anyone interested in what I believe.

"January 18, 2007 (printed and sent January 22, 2007)

Dear Elder Jake,

...I’m mainly writing you this to answer your question.  I do get this kind of thing from missionaries (or Richard! Ha-ha JK) although I’ve not seen them recently due to Richard and Nicole moving out to the boonies.  The exact question was “…what you [I] believe.  Like what is the nature of God? What is the meaning of life?  What is the role of families in God’s plan?”  Then you asked “What gives you the strength to get up every morning?  What do you want for your life? What are you going to do to get it?”  Well I’ll try to answer this as well as I can.  I believe the Apostles Creed which is:

I believe in God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried; HE descended into hell.

On the third day he rose again; He ascended into heaven, He is seated at the right hand of the Father, and He will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Christian church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.

Amen.

My mother once paid me to memorize that and I did it just to get the money and then forgot it, but a few years later I memorized it again, and this time for the right reason, because I really love it, and it really says what I believe and feel.

God’s nature is Love, he is Love.  How else can you describe him better than that?  A friend of mine in high school used to say he couldn’t see how God loved us, and I would tell him I couldn’t see how he couldn’t.  I find it a bit hard to explain past that because love isn’t a physical thing you can see, but like a DC Talk song says “he’s like the wind, you can’t see the wind but you can see the effects of the wind”  I find that a good description.  The meaning of life for me is to serve the Father with all our mind, soul, heart, and strength, and to show his everlasting love to others and serve as a witness to all of His eternal love.  The role of families is the same for me as the meaning of life, to serve him with all our being.  The parents are to guide and teach their children about him and guide them along his glorious path.  Whether in families or as individuals, we are to serve him as children of God.

What gives me strength to get up every morning? The Lord of course and my desire to do his will, and get closer to him than I was the last day.  It is impossible to get to know every aspect of God, so I want to learn and build as close of a relationship with him as I possibly can.  And this life is too short to waste even a day.  He is the first one I talk to in the morning and the last one before I go to bed, He is who I see in all of nature; in trees, wind, the sea, waves, the sky, the grass, the flowers, in all his creations, including me.  I see him when I look at the ceiling, when I look in the mirror and talk to him, and when I look inside myself.  He is my father, my teacher, my professor, my almighty counselor, and my best closest friend.  He is someone I want to be like, and I can never get enough of.  In his own words he is I am that I am.  What I want for my life is whatever God’s will is, I want his plans for my life, because my life is devoted to him.  I want to worship Him and be a witness to as many as I can while I’m here.  I also want a family of course, I want to be a mother that embodies the Proverbs Wife but the rest I’m currently working on figuring out. What do I want out of life? I want the fullness of God. What am I going to do to get it?  I will pray and meditate on him, read his word (for the word was with God, and the word was God, in the beginning), continue to talk with him and follow the path that the lord sets before me. 

I hope that I answered your questions, I’ve never written my responses before to someone and as I’m sure you’ve noticed on occasions I tend to ramble, even when I write, so I tried to stay on topic and not ramble too much. J

I think I will leave it on that note and say adieu.  Have a glorious day and I’ll talk to you later!

Sincerely,

Rebecca Wright (ReeBee)"

Where my joy comes from

A lot happened this last year, a lot personally and financially, a lot with my family and a lot with my friends.  After a few emotional breakdowns my family all decided that I needed to go back on my antidepressant...why? Too much to get into and none of it worth it really.

With the ending of one year and the beginnings of another, many people create new year resolutions, goals, and such but there is one thing a blogger, +Tina Reale did that I liked and I think I'm going to try this year...creating myself a theme for the year.  She did it by one word, joy. 

While joy is definitely something I could use also, I think I'm more going to aim for peace.  Really I want to work on all the fruit of the spirit, but this one especially.  With the attaining of peace I expect joy and balance to follow and both are things I could use.

This holiday season, I found out that nothing can replace a firm relationship and foundation in Christ or family in your life.  God is the only solid thing we have in our lives, the only true thing we can put our trust into. Thankfully I've also been blessed by Him with a family I can rely on to be there for me though, which is a huge blessing. Out of all the things I've brought them through they've been there for me, and that means more then they'll ever realize.

Work is starting something called the happiness advantage and I really recommend watching it

http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html


in it he lists 5 ways to turn happiness into an advantage:

1. write down what you're greatful for (3 things)
2. journal for 2 minutes about something positive that happened within the past 24 hours
3. exercise
4. meditate (prayer) 
5. send a positive email first thing at work.

I've done a greatful for journal before so just getting me back into the habit, along with the journaling 2 minutes. That I wont do on a blog because I feel it will benefit me more if I physically write it. For me there is something about the act of penmenship that cannot be replaced. Exercise I've covered with the help of +Tina Reale & her Best Body Bootcamp. Meditate and prayer I need to work on doing more regularly. I'm thinking of trying in the car maybe on my way to work, along with stretches at least 3 days a week. After that it's the positive email first thing at work which sounds easy enough but after a while I'm not so sure...

Anyhoo I'll keep you all posted! 

Remembering the Reason

Ever have that feeling that such much was going on all around you, you wonder how you manage to keep your sanity?  I'm experiencing that. Although God has blessed me with a peace that's carrying me through.

I still need a new car, when that will happen I don't know since it became apparent I cannot afford one...I'm trying to save up money and figure I'll ride Black Betty until she passes away and then deal with the new car situation. 

Workout-wise I am finally done with the burpees phase, and thank heavens it really was only a phase because I don't know how much longer I can take doing that many of those things. Even if they do work wonders I still detest burpees.  This week's workout has a few ones I'm not keen on, like jumping lunges and these ball-squeeze things, but I will say that this week has made me muchos sore!  I have the final week's workout today and don't envy my legs afterwards! Tina's Best Body Bootcamp: Round 4 is now open for registration btw, which I already have! For only $25 it is well worth it (despite the burpees lol).

Personally I have a bunch going on, which I wont get into here, but it's made me a bit on the worn down and tired side of things.  I've been fighting keeping a smile on my face at work. Not because I'm down necessarily, but just generally worn if that makes sense. 

I have a cookie exchange this next weekend, the 15th, that I'm totally stoked about!  It should be really fun and I'm hoping we have a good turnout!  I'll be sure to keep you updated and may post a picture or two :) I will miss my friend Brian though, last year his cookies turned out to the be favorite of everyone so it'll be kind of sad to know he won't be there this year.

 I know it's a dark photo but it's Brian, Me, and my friend's little girl Charlotte at last year's cookie exchange!

 Brian's cookie was a Mint Oreo Truffle and it was the favorite and first devoured!

Today is really bringing into focus for me how happiness is a choice, the fruit of the spirit are a choice...one that for some reason isn't always easy to make.  While I'm not sick like many this holiday season, mentally I have been fighting against a scrooge mentality and really having to remember the true reason for the season.

Christ Born of Mary

2 And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. ² This census first took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. ³ So all went to be registered, everyone to his own city.

⁴ Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, ⁵ to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife,^[a] who was with child. ⁶ So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. ⁷ And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Glory in the Highest

⁸ Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. ⁹ And behold,^[b] an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. ¹⁰ Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. ¹¹ For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. ¹² And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”
¹³ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”^[c]

¹⁵ So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.” ¹⁶ And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. ¹⁷ Now when they had seen Him, they made widely^[d] known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. ¹⁸ And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds. ¹⁹ But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰ Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.

 Luke 2:1-20 NKJV

 The stresses of this world are only temporary, and we should rejoice in this fact: 

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. ¹⁷ For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. John 3:16-17NKJV

Words are paint, your imagination the paintbrush

So I've been reading The Hobbit, to refresh myself before I go see the movie (yes I am finally going to see a movie in an actual theater) and it brings to mind the benefits and pleasures of reading...

I know from the popularity of tablets that there still exists readers out there, but are we instilling that in our children? We are such a technologically advanced society, with games, toys, computers, movies, and shows, that create amazing fantasy worlds for us to escape to. But part of me wonders what ever happened to letting your own imagination do that?  Where working out works the body, puzzles and many games work the mind, reading-especially fiction-works the imagination. A coworker told me when he saw me reading The Hobbit, that he doesn't read books before movies because it'll ruin them. For me, I prefer to read the book first, because I want my own imagination and soul to form and create the world the author was painting with words, not the director.  Plus, as is commonly mentioned, there is so much more depth within the book that the movies just cannot possibly portray on such a limited canvas.

If you look at toys from generations past, so much involved the children being creative, thinking and pretending. I remember when I was a child I would play outside for hours, creating all kinds of adventures within my mind. Or if stuck indoors, I would pretend my bed was a boat, and sail and fish to all kinds of worlds! Simple toys that go past even my childhood required the use of the imagination, but now toys are so advanced it requires little to no creativity at all.

As we have progressed and advanced within society, our ability to create on our own has diminished. Think of how many movies are just remakes or followups now, not their own works but another persons redone.  Nowadays, kids just come home and sit in front of the television either watching or playing something or other.  Now I'm not saying we shouldn't play games, or watch television or movies (obviously since I'll be going to the theater myself soon) I have my own games I enjoy, and I love my iPad, but how about trying on a good fiction novel (minus the movie cover-if offered) for once?

Or how about giving a book for the holidays? A nice paperback...and yes, I am serious. There is something with holding an actual book, the smell, and turning the pages that cannot be replaced. The only reason I honestly enjoy reading now is because my sister's boyfriend (now husband of 10+ years) gave me one of his fiction novels and told me he thought I'd enjoy it.  I hated the idea of reading honestly, but to be nice I gave it a try, and was hooked ever since!  My first, and favorite fiction novel?

Of course I'm a dork so now I own the hardback copy myself, along with the follow up book The Black House

Anyhoo, that's my book rant for the evening.  I write this because I forgot myself how much a good fiction novel can do for the soul, but a mistake I hopefully won't make again. That is a sad fact to admit seeing as I work in a library, but sometimes life, work, and stresses get in the way and we all forget the simple pleasures.

On other news, yesterday I did my last session for burpees! I hate those things so hopefully they won't be in the next phase's workouts! By the way her next bootcamp challenge (#4) will start on January 7th but will open for registration on December 3 until the 31st!  Getting past my complaints on the burpees (it's only because they work-which makes them hurt lol) I highly recommend it and it's not that expensive at all, only $25 for 8 weeks!

Thankful holiday ramblings

Holiday randomness!

So though this past week has been hectic worth everything, yesterday was quite nice.  It started early as my sister Tin and I ran the MUST Ministries Gobblejog

It's our second year running, and I must say I love our new tradition! Especially since they replay the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade now so I can still watch our second tradition!

My Favorite part you ask?

 

The New York Radio City Rockettes!  I like the broadway shows before the parade also, but of all of it, I always look forward to watching the Rockettes, maybe because I wanted to be one when I was young. After that, some of the floats of course like Charite Brown, Snoopy, Kermit the Frog, and my other favorite performance...the Fred Hill and his Briefcase Drill Team. Too funny.

Before the parade, we shaved our doggies, one being a cute little dog named Jasper (my little buddy-besides Lieba of course) and then washed all three of the little guys. Jasper then picked out a sweater...yes HE picked out a sweater, he can and loves them THAT much.

After that we cleaned up, watched the replay of the parade, and helped with Food. Then watched...

 What I like about it, besides the Peanuts, is also the extra they have on the DVD, "The Mayflower Voyagers" where it goes over the pilgrims first thanksgiving, a nice reminder of the history behind the holiday.

 For dinner my brother-in-law smoked a turkey breast, we fixed some turkey thighs and gravy, brussel sprouts, along with some mashed potatoes and dressing I couldn't eat. My mother was sweet enough to alter the Sweet Potato Souffle so I could eat it (and eat way too much might I admit). We started a new tradition of then going over we were thankful for and with all that is going on in all our lives, it's nice to redirect our thoughts and hearts to remember how much blessings we really have.

For dessert I had made Chocolate-Covered Katie's Crustless Pumpkin Pie in place of the pumpkin cheesecake my mother made for everyone else.

I used her picture since it's such a good one. I added the optional oil and it turned out nicely, I topped mine with the low (almost no) sugar 7-minute frosting my sister left and crumbled a gingersnap cookie (which I also ate some of with some of my cookie butter lol) I almost didn't have room for it at all...almost...but somehow I found some. :)

Black Friday started out with sleeping in, a cup of coffee (yes I was naughty) and relaxing with my mother. I did end up going out to get ONE thing from Kohls, which wasn't as horrible as I had imagined, probably because we went at about 9:30am after the mad rush died. Although I still would rather not have had to go, there was something we needed to get for a gift for someone...and we were successful!

My mom then tried making me some dairy-free biscuits for brunch (also a naughty since my doctor probably wouldn't approve) which we ate with some eggs, turkey bacon, low-sugar jams, and some fresh fruit.

I finally got myself out to workout. I did Cardio C and Workout C from Tina's Best Body Fitness and it was tiring more then I thought, but definitely made me feel better after such a lazy and overeating few days. This week she's had me doing burpees which while working me out well, reminded me why I dislike them so...well just one more week of them!

Tomorrow I get to run with a friend and then sometime head to my sister Tina's house with my other sister and brother-in-law for a sister's gaming weekend!  Confusing-sounding but fun all the same! I'm not much of a gamer but hanging out with my sisters and brothers by marriage can't be replaced. The only other update I have is I may be having to get myself a christmas present of a car, I'm not thinking Black Betty my black acura integra wont be making it much longer.

 

Art & Exercising Faith

So quickie update: workouts going well, even for how crazy this week has been. Didn't end up doing the interval workout Tina & Best Body Bootcamp had planned and took Ride class instead, but I'm going to try and fit it in (at least partly) today...were going to see how I work things out next week with Thanksgiving and the MUST Ministries Gobblejog!  So excited by the way :). Side note my bodyfat has improved again with weight remining normal, so so far so good though!

Wednesday my lifetime best friend had her Fall Senior Art Exhibit at Kennesaw State University which I got to go to (after my very quick workout) and it was totally worth it!  She has such amazing talent and has worked so hard to get that far, with a soon-to-have degree (come December) and a beautiful, expressive, and curious little red-haired girl to show for it. 

Walking around taking in all the artists work, it was awesome. Taking in the different ways each one expresses themselves. Then we would stand back and observe how others examined her piece, took it in, absorbing it, and then their reactions afterwards. 

I'm so glad I got to be there for her and take part in this memory! As we talked and waited for her family to come, I wouldn't have traded my standing spot to anyone. 

On a different note, something that has been on my mind recently is joy and faith. I've been really praying for a more of a joyous, uplifting spirit (and I've probably blogged about it I'm sure) and working on choosing to have one. Something the Lord really revealed to me recently was that my problem was not just in choosing joy but in faith and trust, and my lack thereof. If I really had faith in the Lord, believed God really was in control, and trusted Him with everything I would have nothing to be down about. 

^" Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance." Psalm 42:5 KJV

"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him." 2 Samuel 22:31 KJV

"And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee." Psalm 9:10 KJV

 "The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower." Psalm 18:2 KJV

 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proberbs 3:5-6 KJV

So now I guess that means I have a new goal! Not just to have a more joyous spirit, and to be more positive and uplifting, but also in trusting in my heavenly Father COMPLETELY and trusting in Him with all of me.

to end on a random note...I have a strange desire to sing old hymns...and also happy Friday!