Where my joy comes from

A lot happened this last year, a lot personally and financially, a lot with my family and a lot with my friends.  After a few emotional breakdowns my family all decided that I needed to go back on my antidepressant...why? Too much to get into and none of it worth it really.

With the ending of one year and the beginnings of another, many people create new year resolutions, goals, and such but there is one thing a blogger, +Tina Reale did that I liked and I think I'm going to try this year...creating myself a theme for the year.  She did it by one word, joy. 

While joy is definitely something I could use also, I think I'm more going to aim for peace.  Really I want to work on all the fruit of the spirit, but this one especially.  With the attaining of peace I expect joy and balance to follow and both are things I could use.

This holiday season, I found out that nothing can replace a firm relationship and foundation in Christ or family in your life.  God is the only solid thing we have in our lives, the only true thing we can put our trust into. Thankfully I've also been blessed by Him with a family I can rely on to be there for me though, which is a huge blessing. Out of all the things I've brought them through they've been there for me, and that means more then they'll ever realize.

Work is starting something called the happiness advantage and I really recommend watching it

http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html


in it he lists 5 ways to turn happiness into an advantage:

1. write down what you're greatful for (3 things)
2. journal for 2 minutes about something positive that happened within the past 24 hours
3. exercise
4. meditate (prayer) 
5. send a positive email first thing at work.

I've done a greatful for journal before so just getting me back into the habit, along with the journaling 2 minutes. That I wont do on a blog because I feel it will benefit me more if I physically write it. For me there is something about the act of penmenship that cannot be replaced. Exercise I've covered with the help of +Tina Reale & her Best Body Bootcamp. Meditate and prayer I need to work on doing more regularly. I'm thinking of trying in the car maybe on my way to work, along with stretches at least 3 days a week. After that it's the positive email first thing at work which sounds easy enough but after a while I'm not so sure...

Anyhoo I'll keep you all posted! 

Your Breath Takes My Breath Away

Your breath takes my breath away,

blowing oh so gently through every strand of hair,

numbered and named by You.

Walking underneath Your covering, 

part of me yearns for You,

in ways which are incomprehensible, untouchable.

Only You understand this feeling from within.

A love deeper than I can fathom grabs hold of my soul,

through the quiet I hear you,

through the forest I see your face,

as it smiles upon me.

The warmth of your embrace.

Take time to love me,

take time to notice I'm there.

To feel my presence within you,

beside you,

before you,

following after you,

protecting you,

holding you.

You are the peace amongst the chaos of my inner spirit,

Calming the storm within my mind's eye.

Grasping hold of the only true parts of me,

piecing me, molding me back together into the shape of Your palm,

each crease and wrinkle defining who I am.

How can we feel alone?  Today I realized that alone is not a state of being of a state of mind. We can be physically alone or alone within a crowd, alone within our minds.

I needed peace.  His peace.

Walking on the trail today, absorbing Him, getting some quality God time in where I feel the most at peace. I could feel Him there, just loving me,
enjoying me.

I needed that, I needed the warmth of Him and His love, His presence.  There I finally grasped the concept that every time I felt alone in my life,

He was there.

I felt the sadness He felt as I ignored and rejected His love so I could cry in my self-imposed misery.   But even with all that, His overwhelming love and affection comforting me, pressing us forward. 

No, I wont live in the past mistakes I've made. I wont dwell on the pain of my own past, but on the pain of His as we continue down this nature trail, trees and nature singing His praises...as we walk hand in hand.