All things in God's timing

So many things happened...and so many more to come.

I ran my marathon on December 28th, 2014 @ 3:47:16...12 minutes from Boston time, which I'm quite proud of really! I placed 4th for my age group which for my first full marathon I thought was really great.

Will I run another one? Maybe one day but not soon! Everyone calls me a runner, and maybe I am, maybe I was but I'm growing into something more...I don't know, but I do know there is more to me then just that. 

My goals for 2015:

1. To do an unassisted pull-up (which I have achieved btw)
2. To climb a rope without knots (which I have also done, albeit not well lol)
3. To move out

2 out of 3 is not bad, and much quicker then I expected to achieve them really, but that is thanks to someone who's really motivated me recently...that I am so honored that God blessed me with.

He has supported and pushed me far more then I probably deserve and the progress I've made is all thanks to him.  He has also helped me develop new goals, one which I am excited (and really scared of), if I get everything set up, I will tell everyone about later!

Moving out? Maybe, currently my challenge is just getting a better paying job and getting my debt under control. Once I have those dealt with I will move further.

I've really been having my mind on the Lord more recently, not necessarily anything in particular but just in general. 

1 Corinthians 2:16 - For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.
Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
1 Corinthians 2:14-16 - But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know [them], because they are spiritually discerned.   (Read More...)
Philippians 2:5 - Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
1 Corinthians 2:13-16 - Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.   (Read More...)
John 5:30 - I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.
2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
1 Peter 1:13 - Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
Ephesians 5:1 - Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
1 Peter 4:17 - For the time [is come] that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if [it] first [begin] at us, what shall the end [be] of them that obey not the gospel of God?
1 Peter 1:3 - Blessed [be] the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1 John 2:6 - He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.
James 1:27 - Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world. 

KJV 

All things in God's timing, While things aren't perfect, I am happy where I am at and really excited to see what things will be coming soon! 

One of which is my 30th birthday! 

Offering Me

I offer you my essence

I offer you my strength

I offer you my selfishness

I offer you my pain

my story is laid before you

my life displayed before you

my broken spirit is healed before you

my tears captured before you

You fill my hands with healing

You fill my heart with love

You fill my soul with forgiveness

You fill my eyes with light

" And he said, Of a truth I say unto you, that this poor widow hath cast in more than they all: for all these have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she of her penury hath cast in all the living that she had" Luke 21:3-4 KJV

"And the scribe said unto him, Well, Master, thou hast said the truth: for there is one God; and there is none other but he: and to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices. And when Jesus saw that he answered discreetly, he said unto him, Thou art not far from the kingdom of God. And no man after that durst ask him any question." Mark 12:32-34 KJV

"Nevertheless, brethren, I have written the more boldly unto you in some sort, as putting you in mind, because of the grace that is given to me of God, that I should be the minister of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles, ministering the gospel of God, that the offering up of the Gentiles might be acceptable, being sanctified by the Holy Ghost. I have therefore whereof I may glory through Jesus Christ in those things which pertain to God." Romans 15:15-17 KJV

"Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; and walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour...For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light" Ephesians 5:1,8 KJV

"Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain. Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all. For the same cause also do ye joy, and rejoice with me." Philippians 2:16-18 KJV

 

" For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified.

 Whereof the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before,

 This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them;

 And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.

 Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin."

Hebrews 10:14-18 KJV

Salvation through Him

But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart”^[a](that is, the word of faith which we preach): ⁹ that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

Romans 10:8-10 NKJV

 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.  Therefore comfort one another with these words

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 NKJV

He is coming back for me, I am saved.

I confessed with my mouth & I believe in my heart...I am His.

My Joshua Tree

*Originally written on March 12th, 2011*

I'm currently reading a new book, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, A Memoir...and although the beginning was kinda slow, I've really started to enjoy it.  Before I even hit 50 pages, I've already had a few lines speak to me.

It wasn't just any tree. It was an ancient Joshua tree. It stood in a crease of land where the desert ended and the mountain began, forming a wind tunnel. From the time the Joshua tree was a tiny sapling, it had been so beaten down by the whipping wind that, rather than trying to grow skyward, it had grown in the direction that the wind pushed it. It existed now in a permanent state of windblownness, leaning over so far that it seemed ready to topple, although, in fact, its roots held it firmly in place...One time I saw a tiny Joshua tree sapling growing not too far from the old tree, I wanted to dig it up and replant it near our house. I told Mom that I would protect it from the wind and water it every day so that it could grow nice and tall and straight.

Mom frowned at me. "You'd be destroying what makes it special," she said. "It's the Joshua tree's struggle that gives it its beauty."

 Now I know we've all heard variations of this type of story, I remember Joyce Meyer's using a version with a baby eagle, but there are so many elements to this one that make it reach me even deeper.  First off I love the name of the tree, it reminds me of Joshua in the bible, like the tree standing strong he was one of the only two Israelites who left Egypt to get to see the promise land after 40 years in the dessert.  Because he had faith in his God and knew that God kept His word.

 "No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.  This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:5-9

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

All those who have accepted Christ are children of God, we are sons and daughters! Heirs of the King!  But we, just as the Joshua tree was made to withstand the wind and dessert weather, are made to withstand.

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. ¹¹ Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,^[c] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6:10-13

Its our struggle against all the opposing forces that shape us into who we are. If we never had any battles, we would never learn how strong our heavenly Father is, how much He loves us, adores us...like any relationship its the hard times that help the relationship blossom and the two people together even more.  We learn more of God's character, and more of the character He created us with. 

A friend of mine on facebook put up two statuses that God spoke to me though at around the same time:

"When you believe in Jesus you are saved, when you realize that Jesus believes in you, it will radically mess you up!!!!"

and "Jesus came to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable"

The more you learn and trust in Jesus and His unmerited favor (grace) that He blesses us with if we choose to accept it, the more battles we will have to endure to truly grasp even a fraction of the love Christ really has for us.  Until you have a hard battle, you never know you could endure that battle through His strength.  Until Peter stepped out of the boat to walk on the water, He never knew that through Christ, he could.  Before Job lost everything he had built around himself, he never knew-or would have probably believed-that he even could endure so much hardship though our Father. He never understood or grasped a fraction of the full power and love of the amazing YAH. I never knew I would be able to endure a Father with a tumor for 15 years, an eating disorder, running 13.1 miles, or even my biggest battle I'm currently undergoing~myself, until He brought me though all of them (and still is) with His peace and love. Holding me the whole way, cradling me, embracing me and capturing all my tears, crying some of His own while watching me go though these battles.  We have to be afflicted to find the true comfort that comes from Jesus. 

On a date, hiking Sweet Water Creek, Ga., after our picnic walking back we passed a tree covered in knotts and while my date thought it was hidious, I found it strangly intreguing, beautiful.  I think this is how the world sees us, our battles look ugly and they don't understand. They are outside of His peace, they are looking down at the problem and down at themselves. But through the eyes of God, when we keep our focus on things above, on Christ, on our Father above who guides us through His love, we are beautiful! 
We, like the little girl, try to protect ourselves, hide from the hardships, from the wind of the world that tries to tear out our roots, but that will just kill us, destroy our beauty. We cannot grow strong without something (or someone) to fight against. 

When we are planted in Christ...having done all, we WILL STAND no matter how the wind pulls at us. No matter how the battle is perceived from the outside world.  

And while we feel ugly, forgotten and alone in the cold dessert night, all the time God stands beside us, painting our lives into a personal and unique masterpiece, beautiful and unlike any other on earth.

my next painting, I think I too want to paint a Joshua tree...my Joshua tree...

What was it like Daddy?

*Originally written on November 19th, 2010*

This morning on my way to work a gentleman requested the radio station to play Mercy Me "I can only imagine" and mentioned that it was played at his nephew's funeral. As the song began to play, my mind began to reflect back upon my own father and what his meeting with the Lord that first time was like. I've not really gotten too emotional about my father's passing much, I guess growing up my whole life aware that he could pass on at any moment, taking care of him for a year while watching his tumor begin to take over more and more prepares  someone for something like that.  But I can recall how much he struggled down here and eagerly anticipated the moment God would call him home again.  I can honestly say this did actually make me get a tink emotional, something I've only done regarding his passing one other time after his death & funeral in 2004 (of course I was emotional then).

I never considered this song for a funeral, but it makes sense.  Funeral's can become so dreary and sad...so melancholy, but for someone saved, its just a welcome home celebration, till I see you again, and a way for everyone still left visiting this earth to let that person know the impact they had upon their lives and how much they will me missed.  For we all await the day that we will meet Christ face to face, our Savior and Redeemer, our Husband.

^"14 “I will deliver this people from the power of the grave;
I will redeem them from death.
Where, O death, are your plagues?
Where, O grave, is your destruction?
“I will have no compassion," Hosea 13:14 NIV

⁵ “Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:55 NIV

^"17 For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.)" Romans 5:17 NKJV

^"18 I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death." Revelation 1:18 NKJV

^"10 Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life." Revelation 2:10 NKJV

I can only Imagine

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When your face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence,
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah,
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory,
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence,
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah,
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine
I can only imagine, yeah, yeah, yeah

Surrounded by your glory,
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence,
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah,
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, yeah

I can only imagine, yeah, yeah
I can only imagine, Yeah
I can only imagine
I can only imagine, Ohh yeah
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when all I will do
is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine