Blessings

The blessings of others should be a blessing to us.

Have you every had a hard time with that before? Sometimes, while I really truly am excited for the individual, I start to feel a little neglected myself.  You wonder where God is in your life?

My sister just got a second great paying amazing job, only this time it really will be an amazing job! She has been through so much recently that I am really excited for her, and she's a great worker so she deserves it. With all that her and her husband have been through recently it has been a long time coming. 

And while I'm glad things are looking up for her, part of me wonders where God is for me. 

Once years back, one of the few times I attended youth church (although ironically I was no longer youth-they were trying to get me to become a youth leader which didn't happen) the youth pastor's dad was preaching and had a word for someone. I knew it wouldn't be me cause it never is...which is was.

He said that it was like I had a "to do" list for God and he wanted me to know he knew about it and was working on it. That was so true, and still is. 

While driving to work today I was thinking on this, all my desires: to have a soul mate, a better job, get out of debt, tone up, move out,...praying to God again for these things. Especially the soul mate, since I NEVER wanted to be single at the age of 28 and here I am and only have a little over 3 months left before I become 29. Why God is making me wait for so long only He knows, and I have learned to be happy being single, I can't say I still don't want my other half.  

I want a job where people like me there, where my boss likes me there, and where I actually earn enough to live off of instead of just barely scraping by.  Where there is a chance of promotion and I won't be stagnant. 

I'm tired of debt, which is self explanatory...I never imagined I would have so much debt at this age, but tis the american way I guess. My sister always says I shouldn't stress cause I can't take it with me and while that's true, to me it doesn't mean I need to keep letting it build up and not do anything about it.

Build muscle and lose fat. To a point this will always be a goal for me. Health and fitness is something I'm into and while I do like my body and myself currently, I would like to tone up. I want to be able to do a pull-up finally!  I want to climb a rope and be strong enough to do all the obstacles in obstacle course races!

I want my own place, my own area, strangely enough the main thing I think I want is alone time. Living in a house with 6 other adults and 8 dogs, you are never really alone.  Whereas before I worked with people and then had my "me" time at the gym before I came home to my mother, now I work with people and then see family before working out with family, coming home again to family and restarting the whole thing the next day. I love family don't get me wrong, but I never get any time to myself, a time to just enjoy the quietness with my Lord, gather my thoughts. 

Anyways, praying to Him this morning...contemplating all this and laying it all finally down at His feet for the upteenth time, wondering if I'd hear anything from Him or just feel like I was talking out to dead air...I heard this: 

20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us

in context it is: 

11 According to the eternal purpose which he purposed in Christ Jesus our Lord:

12 In whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of him.

13 Wherefore I desire that ye faint not at my tribulations for you, which is your glory.

14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;

17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

Ephesians 3:11-21 KJV

How awesome is that? Gotta love when He answers so quickly. I had totally forgot I was listening to my bible CD on the way to work (which I do every morning generally).  I really needed this today, I needed this this year.  I am not sure what His plans are for me, or when any of them will take place, but I do know that He will come through. 

"The fear of the wicked, it shall come upon him: but the desire of the righteous shall be granted ." Proverbs 10:24 KJV.  

I will not let fear work through me. I will not give in to depression or any negativity.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him." Psalm 28:7 KJV

Life at the Top of the Tower

I've learned that I have a LOT of people protecting me.

I've been set up with a few gentlemen recently and all the different people in my life have something they generally are looking for to gauge whether or not they are worthy.

From opening and closing my doors,  driving to meet me, introducing themselves to the family, and so many more I'm sure I'm not thinking of right now.

I've waited for the right guy for so long and my mother has always talked about the amazing person God was going to bring me because I've given myself to Him first and foremost and I've left the choice up to him, that high expectations have arisen. Others just say I'm too trusting, innocent/naive, sweet (and thanks btw), or that I get attached too easily to be left to myself.  I guess for whatever reason I need to be protected. 

The biggest person who has stepped up on this honestly is one of my brother-in-laws. I have always considered him like a big brother, but through this process he has been the hardest to get to like anyone.  He's very picky and even has to approve of what I wear...but as annoying as this can be, it's nice to know I'm so loved.

I sort of feel like one of those princesses in a tower, with all the different obstacles hindering princes everywhere from even wanting to attempt to rescue me.  I'm just not worth the trouble to most.

So will there ever be a prince that will find me worth the fight?  Is there really a Prince Charming in my future?  Sometimes its not about how cute, strong, or charming you can be but about the heart and passion.

I'm a virgin of 28 years and going, and there have been many times along the path that I've thought of giving up on him...throwing in the towel to the whole idea and just start saving my money for cats, but my faith and family have helped me to stay strong.

The fear of the wicked, it shall come upon him: but the desire of the righteous shall be granted.

Proverbs 10:24.  KJV

He is out there and he will come, one day.



On a side note, here are some tips for anyone thinking of trying to be a girls prince charming, at least for a girl like myself.

• Don't brag about women at the bar who wanted you or were hitting on you, especially if they were married
• Don't try to talk to me about what you are NOT wearing while we are on the phone, I am not impressed.
• Open doors, be a gentlemen
• Come to my house and pick me up on the first date, don't make me drive a gazillion miles cause you don't feel like driving them.
• Text or call on your own. Don't make me always have to contact you first. This applies to friendships as well as dating, they work both ways. I've lost a good friend just by waiting for her to contact me.
• Be yourself

and for all guys, don't stare at me while I do dead lifts, or anything else that required bending...that's an extra for you at no charge.