Showing posts with label Isaiah 55. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Isaiah 55. Show all posts

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Unattainable Love

"I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me

'Cause You're a God who has all things And still You want me

And I need You to love me
And I, I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have..."

I Need You to Love Me by BarlowGirl 



This song really spoke to me today, there is just something to think about there for me. 

Of all the men I've dated I have to say that the last guy would be the one that intimated me the most...I guess while I was attracted to them all he was the most attractive to me (in all manners) and I often wondered why on earth he would want to date me in the first place.  When he asked I thought it was either a joke or he was just wanting something I wasn't willing to give out.  But every time he would stop by to talk to me I wondered what a guy like that would ever see in me.  Of all the girls available and I'm sure he could of dated any, why some dorky, quirky librarian girl who's really only known for walking outside around the library building while reading...still not sure really...



And he's nothing in comparison to God, my word. If I had a hard time with just a silly guy I didn't even date that long, how on earth could I honestly fully grasp the entirety of the love of my Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven & Earth.  He hand-crafted and hand-formed each and every one of us. His thoughts regarding us individually began before our beginning.  He could create any type of person He wanted, someone more talented, loving, caring, intelligent. Someone who hasn't screwed up as many times, who listens more and obeys more.
God comes to grow close towards me and I have the hardest times really understanding why.

Pushing away the unattainable seems to be my trend whether it be people, goals, or ideals. I try to push those things I don't believe I can have or I don't deserve.  What do I deserve?  Hell? Isolation?  Without Christ yes, but through Him I have this infinitely larger than life love, forgiveness, and grace bestowed unto me.. I have His plans for me. I'm not sure which is harder-accepting this amazing love or understanding why. 



Maybe it's not about undersanding, it's about believing. Isn't that what faith is all about?  Without faith it is impossible to please God because without faith it is impossible to fully grasp hold of Him.   

"Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." 
Isaiah 55: 6-9 KJV



God is calling to grow close towards you. Don't try to understand why, just accept through faith.



Friday, April 8, 2011

His will & His perspective

*Originally written on December 23rd, 2010*

Sorry, I know its been awhile but I've returned!  I went for a run outside today in the beautiful, crisp, cold, December weather!  It was awesome, no music needed as I spent some very important & missed quiet personal time with God :)  As I ran, He reminded me about running with Him, not thinking of anybody else, what they were thinking, not who was competing with me, not how fast I could go, not how far-just Him.  Being with Him, running with Him, for Him, running towards Him, my running being about Him, being surrounded in Him, through Him.  It wasn't about what divine message He would reveal to me (which honestly was what I was expecting since its Christmas week & all) it was just about HIM.  I AM, my personal Father, Prince of Peace, mighty Councilor, my Friend, my Savior, my God, my All.  I suddenly became aware that I am nothing without Him, all that I am is involved with Him.  He is in my heart, His cleansing blood pumping through my heart into my veins & throughout my body, keeping me warm & moving.

My love for giving to others is only there because of His presence in my life, my love for health, for art, for expression is His loves showing though me.  He gave the ultimate gift. Himself. And more-so, in the fact that He didn't give because of any repercussions if He didn't, He gave all of Himself, His life, His being, His place beside the Father in heaven & did the ultimate gift of even separating Himself from His Father-something He'd never been through before, just for me, just for us, just because.  That is a true gift from the heart. It is what our gifts strive for but will never measure up to.

Why?  That's what comes to mind.  As king David said who am I, God, that You are mindful of me.  Why do you care?  Sometimes I really wonder how the Lord can have so much faith in me, and if I've made Him proud more than I've let Him down.

As I finished up my run and began to stretch I overheard two gentlemen talking, I'm not sure about what really-but one of the gentlemen said stood out to me...that God said that He revealed His will to Him, not His perspective.

How simple of a concept and yet how deep and complex!  Moses was probably closer to God than any man was and yet, he never knew God's perspective, only His will.

Isaiah 55: 8-13
8 “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
      Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
       9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
      So are My ways higher than your ways,
      And My thoughts than your thoughts.
       10 “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
      And do not return there,
      But water the earth,
      And make it bring forth and bud,
      That it may give seed to the sower
      And bread to the eater,
       11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
      It shall not return to Me void,
      But it shall accomplish what I please,
      And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
       12 “ For you shall go out with joy,
      And be led out with peace;
      The mountains and the hills
      Shall break forth into singing before you,
      And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
       13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
      And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
      And it shall be to the LORD for a name,
      For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

We cannot and will never be able to comprehend His ways, for we will never see from His perspective. Nor do we need to try to, all we are called to do is focus on His will for our lives

Psalm 139:14-18
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
         Marvelous are Your works,
         And that my soul knows very well.
 15 My frame was not hidden from You,
         When I was made in secret,
         And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written,
         The days fashioned for me,
         When as yet there were none of them.
        
 17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
         How great is the sum of them!
 18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
         When I awake, I am still with You.

I will never see myself within the beauty that the Lord does, only He knows my full potential and all I can do is with His help try to achieve His will He reveals to me.  To fulfill His plans-His book just about me.  I'll never be able to fully comprehend all the many thoughts God has about me, or even honestly why He chooses to think of me as much as He does.  I am just thankful that for whatever reason He has, He feels I'm important enough for Him to consider and that's enough for me!

As long as I keep my eye on the prize. Not on my running partners, not on my opponents, not on my surroundings, not on my traps and trails, not on the obstacles in my way...as long as I don't focus on the fiery furnace that I'm in, not on how hot it is, not on who's standing around watching and waiting for the flames to engulf me, hoping they will and stay focused on the Him, then He will pull me though. Then will I be given the power to finish the race.  Just keep my reverential fear of the Lord, realizing that He is so far above me, and yet, loves me anyhoo.  Remember that I am in His hand, and while He has the power to squish me into paste-He doesn't. He just gently holds me, guides me, and protects me from others and most importantly-from myself.

Malachi 3:16-18
16 Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another,
      And the LORD listened and heard them;
      So a book of remembrance was written before Him
      For those who fear the LORD
      And who meditate on His name.
       17 “ They shall be Mine,” says the LORD of hosts,
      “ On the day that I make them My jewels.[a]
      And I will spare them
      As a man spares his own son who serves him.”
       18 Then you shall again discern
      Between the righteous and the wicked,
      Between one who serves God
      And one who does not serve Him.

Gotta love God, and those He brings along the way to speak to you!  Just think, if that gentlemen didn't decide to go walk on the trail at the time he did, and if I decided to not run when I did, or go farther like I wanted to, or go shorter... if he didn't decide to share with his friend the message God revealed to him, this blog might not have ever happened!  His revelation never would have come!  Oh the glory of being in nature and among other believers!   Lord give me the strength, wisdom,  and revelation to achieve Your will!  Whatever plans you have, let me achieve it.  How much I love you Lord, I cannot fathom!  For my love for You reaches within the depths of my heart and being that only You can  fully grasp and understand...and yet, my love for You doesn't even come close to comparing to the love You have for me!