LORD Love Notes

I had two little God-moments recently, His little "I love you" and "I see you" messages He sends me from time to time, which I desperately needed.

So I finally got a trail run outside, it was short but oh so sweet (and I don't just mean the smell from the flowers).  Last week or so I was debating on whether I should or not - deciding I probably shouldn't after getting ready to go, when all of the sudden I realized I couldn't find my ID. I looked all over the house to find them and began to wonder if I left them in my car...well that was it, I prayed that if I was meant to run on the trail then let them be in the middle of my car.

It was :]

So without even going back inside I drove to the trail for a short run and it was amazing.  I miss it so much!  The best part was the fact that I knew God missed me too.

The other LORD love note would be a dream I had last night.  I can't remember much but I remember that it had a gentlemen who I ended up courting.  I actually felt totally comfortable with him, to be my cuddly goofy cheesy self...someone I don't mind the idea of kissing (which is rare for me honestly) or holding their hand, resting my head on his shoulder.  And my mom liked him too, which is a big thing for me!

Anyways, it's always nice to know that He still thinks of me, and that He still remembers my heart.

Am I Part of the Cure...

While taking ride this morning at the gym with my bestie, the working recovery song started to play, a remix of Coldplay's "Clocks" and although I've heard this song many-a-time this one lyric stuck out in my thoughts

"Am I part of the cure or am I part of the disease"

Thinking on the journey both my friend and I have been on. All the struggles, trials, ups and downs. The failures, the falling upon our knees and the cries to God.  The pain...it all came with something else, the love. The love of God, our Father being shown to us through it all. The love of others, especially each other as we edify each other along this road we walk along in this life.  

I attended her graduation from college, a very tough journey and amazing accomplishment for her.  I felt honored to be included in this event.  It's been one of the best weeks I've had for awhile and while now she prepares mentally as much as physically for her congratulations reward trip with her family cruise trip to the Bahamas, I think back on all that we've been through together, these few years I've known her.

  

Through all this, all we've done wrong and right. Positive and negative what kind of impact am I leaving? What have I already left?  Through the pain and trials I still battle with inside, have I left the world a better place?  Am I helping to cure this world of this disease?  The disease of hatred? Hatred toward yourself and toward others?  It is a question I not only cannot answer, I don't feel I have the right to, I think it's one that needs to be answered by those around me.  Those who come after.

It's one that will be answered before the Great Judge, the KING of Kings & LORD of Lords.  

What kind of life did I live?  What kind of light did I shine?  What kind of love did I show?

Unattainable Love

"I, I have wasted so much time

Pushing You away from me

I just never saw how You could cherish me

'Cause You're a God who has all things And still You want me

And I need You to love me

And I, I won't keep my heart from You this time

And I'll stop this pretending that I can

Somehow deserve what I already have..."

I Need You to Love Me by BarlowGirl 

This song really spoke to me today, there is just something to think about there for me. 

Of all the men I've dated I have to say that the last guy would be the one that intimated me the most...I guess while I was attracted to them all he was the most attractive to me (in all manners) and I often wondered why on earth he would want to date me in the first place.  When he asked I thought it was either a joke or he was just wanting something I wasn't willing to give out.  But every time he would stop by to talk to me I wondered what a guy like that would ever see in me.  Of all the girls available and I'm sure he could of dated any, why some dorky, quirky librarian girl who's really only known for walking outside around the library building while reading...still not sure really...

And he's nothing in comparison to God, my word. If I had a hard time with just a silly guy I didn't even date that long, how on earth could I honestly fully grasp the entirety of the love of my Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven & Earth.  He hand-crafted and hand-formed each and every one of us. His thoughts regarding us individually began before our beginning.  He could create any type of person He wanted, someone more talented, loving, caring, intelligent. Someone who hasn't screwed up as many times, who listens more and obeys more.

God comes to grow close towards me and I have the hardest times really understanding why.

Pushing away the unattainable seems to be my trend whether it be people, goals, or ideals. I try to push those things I don't believe I can have or I don't deserve.  What do I deserve?  Hell? Isolation?  Without Christ yes, but through Him I have this infinitely larger than life love, forgiveness, and grace bestowed unto me.. I have His plans for me. I'm not sure which is harder-accepting this amazing love or understanding why. 

Maybe it's not about undersanding, it's about believing. Isn't that what faith is all about?  Without faith it is impossible to please God because without faith it is impossible to fully grasp hold of Him.   

"Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." 

Isaiah 55: 6-9 KJV

God is calling to grow close towards you. Don't try to understand why, just accept through faith.

His Joy

My chest hurts with love & pain mixed, my stomach feels sick...so much has gone on outside & inside within me. Some good some bad.  Old friends returned, close friends felt pushed away...I've hurt those I love.

I want to run & I can't.  I just want to hold onto someone & cry, but can't.  I want to write the feelings, but no words flow from my finger tips, I want to draw out my emotions, but no pictures form within my mind. 

God give me your peace, your sweet serenity, comfort, joy amongst the storm that envelops this holiday season. Help me remember the true meaning of this holiday, the birth of Your son, Jesus Christ, and His love for all mankind.

I know that with You, Your love, all will be okay.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 KJV

Call me, oh God my Father, help me achieve your will for me. 

BeYOUtiful

"Lucky that my lips not only mumble
They spill kisses like a fountain
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don't confuse them with mountains
Lucky I have strong legs like my mother
To run for cover when I need it
And these two eyes that for no other
The day you leave will cry a river"

Shakira "Whenever, Wherever"

Whenever I hear that song, I think of my friend Marie saying how that line made her think of me.  I do have small breasts...and I do have stong legs-just like my mother.  It's funny how different Marie and I grew up to be in appearance, and yet, I think we are both uniquely and beautifuly designed.  

While we look similar, my two older sisters, my mother, and myself each carry a separate beauty all ours. My friend Chelsi and I get mistaken for each other quite often, but even then we're our own masterpiece, each fingerprint and strand of hair, each shadow we cast is perfectly personalized.

.

Today is National Love Your Body Day, a day when women of all sizes, colors, ages and abilities come together to celebrate self-acceptance and to promote positive body image.

So I decided to write about something that's been on my mind lately. 

I love...

...my muscular legs, thighs, calves. Partly I inherited and partly I worked hard for.

...my brown hair, brown eyes. Simple yet complex, unique, one shade that's many.  Can be hidden in the crowd or stand out alone.

...my olive skin tone, & all the different shades it comes in depending where your eyes land.

...my long piano fingers, with boney knuckles.

...my toes, abused & abstract in design.

...my small bust, chest, collar bones.

...my long neck.

...my butt. Little, but well earned.

...my pear body shape.

...my eyes, my eyelashes & all the tears that have washed them.

...my cheek bones.

...my face, shape & structure.

...my nose, slightly off-center cherry and all.  I even love how when I cry, I turn into Rudolph.

...my lips, light pink & not too big, not too small.

...my smile.

...my teeth.

...my long waist, my hips.

...my stomach, just how it is. The abs I have defined and the stomach I haven't.

...my height, not too tall.

...my curves, my shape.

...my heritage, genetics, roots.

...my drive, energy.

...my strong emotions, feelings.

...my passionate heart.

...my spirit, guided by His grace.

...my love for the Lord.

...my dorkiness & goofy since of humor.

...my love for the arts, for nature, the environment, & for God creatures.

...my weaknesses, my failures-for they have and will help shape me. They reveal to me how much I really do need God.

...my uniqueness, my artistic design. Handcrafted by my Heavenly Father.

...me! & all that it embodies

Love is by His hands...

^"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8 KJV

Through Christ, I am God's beloved

I deserve to be loved, & have the right to love in return

"Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end."

John 13:1 KJV

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-40 KJV

In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

I John 4:9-11 KJV

"And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,

 And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen."

Revelation 1:5-6 KJV

Amazing Love, How Can it be?

*Originally written on Sunday, April 3rd, 2011*

 

Psalm 139 (KJV)

 ¹O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

 ²Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

 ³Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

 ⁴For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.

 ⁵Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

 ⁶Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

 ⁷Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

 ⁸If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

 ⁹If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

 ¹⁰Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

 ¹¹If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

 ¹²Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

 ¹³For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

 ¹⁴I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

 ¹⁵My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

 ¹⁶Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

 ¹⁷How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

 ¹⁸If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

 ¹⁹Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.

 ²⁰For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

 ²¹Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?

 ²²I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.

 ²³Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

 ²⁴And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

 This has to be my favorite psalm, I will look at the others and love them but everytime I read this one, it just reaches in and speaks to me in a way I don’t understand and cannot explain.  I guess its one of those personal things between God and me.  I think its because I feel that I understand the way David felt when he wrote this. I cannot begin to fathom Him thinking of me, especially that much.  I cannot imagine that He loved me enough to write an entire book of just what He planned on accomplishing through me, who He wanted to bless through me.  He wrote about our relationship, His amazing love for me, and every word hand written by Him was written with Christ’s blood redeeming me, allowing me to be held in God’s arms, wrapped in His amazing unsearchable love!  

Picture this, God sitting with a book of blank pages before Him, as He takes His finger and gently places it upon the page. 

And He starts to write…   

As He writes the first few letters, then a word or two, and it begins…

Excitement starts to shine from His face just thinking of you, just you as you are, just as he made you,  good and bad…

Love flows as Christ’s blood forms words, words of Your future through Christ that your heavenly Father plans for you! Just for you, only for you. He ends the book with a single tear of love falling upon the page, blending with the blood and forming His signature.

As I finished my study this morning, ending with just looking over this Psalm, soaking it in, I folded myself upon my bed and layed all before Him.  And I just loved Him.  I can’t offer Him anything, do anything for Him, all I can do honestly is LOVE Him and allow Him to use me, work through me.  I want to be a dry sponge and absorb as much of God as I can!  I want to drip of His being so others can experience at least a taste of who I have loving me, thinking of me nonstop, watching over me.

“ ⁹Thou whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called thee from the chief men thereof, and said unto thee, Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away. ¹⁰Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”     Isaiah 41:9-10

 Just laying before Him, letting Him have me, being silent and thinking of all the aspects of God my physical mind will allow…there is just something about it.  As I slowly, grudgingly, began to rise I saw the Sun shine brilliantly through my window, through my bamboo blinds, stronger than ever before.  His love shone through my room and touched me…warmed me…let me know that although I am not seeking His presence, His presence is still there, loving me no matter what, and always will be…

“For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
         The LORD will give grace and glory;
         No good thing will He withhold
         From those who walk uprightly.”

Psalm 84:10-12 (NKJV)

^~

^“2 Blessed be the name of the LORD
         From this time forth and forevermore!
 ³ From the rising of the sun to its going down
         The LORD’s name is to be praised.
 ⁴ The LORD is high above all nations,
         His glory above the heavens.”

Psalm  113:2-4 (NKJV)

~

“² Praise Him, all His angels;
         Praise Him, all His hosts!
 ³ Praise Him, sun and moon;
         Praise Him, all you stars of light!
 ⁴ Praise Him, you heavens of heavens,
         And you waters above the heavens!”

Psalm 142:2-4 (NKJV)

~

“But the path of the just is like the shining sun,
      That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.”

Proverbs 4:18 (NKJV)

YOUR power running through me

*Originally written on December 31st, 2010*

Yesterday I traded my run outside for some gym time, wondered as silly as it is, if reworking my schedule was a good idea but brushed it aside after blessing a few people, and being blessed, with some laughter and such on the way out of the gym. God always has you where you are for a reason.

Today I was rewarded with beautiful weather, partly cloudy turned to bright blue cloudless sky. Perfect for my run with the Lord to end the old year and begin a new one...I started out with some music, but soon ditched it for sounds of nature and to get closer to God.

I began having issues keeping myself concentrated on Him of course, since this is  supposed to be my quiet time with the Lord. As I continued though-I told myself I ran with HIS strength, the glory of the sun empowering me, inspiring me.  So finally I went for it!  Went for not an 8 mile run, not my planned 10 mile run, but a 14 mile run, ending the year with a nice long quiet run with God.  As we went, I just had to keep praying for His strength, His power.  Him to be my joints, Him to be my muscles, my lungs, my heart...The desires of the righteous WILL be granted and He put this desire within me.  As the run continued I became more and more focused on Him for He was the only reason I was still going!

When I finally was reaching the end, He actually gave me enough energy to sprint to the end!  I was amazed!  And I KNEW it had to be Him because when I finally reached the end of my 14.7 miles...my strength and energy just-left! All of the sudden I FELT like I had ran over 14 miles lol.  It is just so awesome to know that He cares about our runs, our quiet moments we spend together!

Its a small way the Lord shows His love, but powerful!  It reminds me of how He always has my automatic locks work in my car.  They stopped for a long time, but one day I asked Him to have them work (more to myself than really Him) and He had them work! Now everytime they do I KNOW its Him, His little 'I love you' and 'your in my thoughts' messages for the day.  I cannot wait for this next year and all the many ways my love relationship with the Lord will grow!

Wildflower, by Elena Wrevhn

*Originally written on December 29th, 2010*

my sister wrote this poem for me and it has meant so much to me that I wanted to re-post it on this blog...I'm starting an art project my psychologist suggested, to make a joy collage.  The first two things that came to mind was this poem and GIR.  I don't think I could ever find words to express how much this poem has meant to me, that she, anybody really but especially my sister, would think of me that way, would be inspired to write something like this to me.  I think it was her first poem about someone-to someone.

Wildflower
By Elena Wright Wrevhn
She is no rose,
With vicious thorns,
Nor common daisy,
Far to quaint,
They call her wildflower,
They call her beauty,
They call her heaven-sent,
I call her angel,
She is a lady,
With silken petals,
Her blossom dreams,
In every color,
They call her wildflower,
They call her beauty,
They call her heaven-sent,
I call her friend,
She is so sweet,
With whispering perfume,
That forever kisses,
Your fondest memory,
They call her wildflower,
They call her beauty,
They call her heaven-sent,
I call her sister,
She is of strength,
With soil so pure,
And roots so deep,
She cannot be moved,
They call her wildflower,
They call her beauty,
They call her heaven-sent,
I call her Rebecca

This fits with what Joyce Myers just preached on this morning, identity theft.  She preached on Ephesians Chapter 1

Redemption in Christ

  
³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, ⁴ just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, ⁵ having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, ⁶ to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
⁷ In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace ⁸ which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, ⁹ having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, ¹⁰ that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both^[a] which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. ¹¹ In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, ¹² that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.
¹³ In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, ¹⁴ who^[b] is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.

This also goes along with the book I've started by Joseph Prince, Unmerited Favor. The first chapter he mentions Joseph and how:

"God's definition of success is contrary to the world's definition...From Genesis 39:2, it is clear that success is not what you have, but rather who you have! Joseph literally had nothing materially, but at the same time, he had everything because the Lord was with him...We need to learn to stop pursuing things and start pursuing Him. God sees your relationship with Him as the only thing that you need for every success in your life."

Genesis 39:1-2

^"1Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. And Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him down there. ² The LORD was with Joseph, and he was a successful man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian."

Every morning and as I've ran on the trail recently with the Lord, He has brought to mind how everything about me, everything about life, within life, everything that has breath speaks of Him and His majesty and grace and redemption.  All that I do, all that I am becomes and shows more and more of Him rather than me as I grow closer to him. Every powered stride I take on my runs, every mile I manage to go with Him, by Him, through Him, every quilt I make, every loop I crochet, every stroke I paint, every tree and piece of nature, and every piece of me that finds joy within nature. He lives within my heart and His cleansing blood is constantly washing over me.  His light shines from me, His joy radiates out of me.  All that I am, truly am, is really Him.  That is what makes me and all that I am so amazing, is its not me!  Its what gives me a true confidence.  The love that Christ has for me is truly amazing and I cannot wait to learn more and gain a deeper true understanding of His amazing grace that saved a retch like me!

Who's the real butt head here...

*Originally written August 20th, 2010*

God has really put upon my heart the search for true joy, happiness, and contentment.  I want to shine His light unto all the world & show them His love that is much needed...& part of this process is realizing who you really are, who you've become when you weren't looking.

I work in a library at a college & there are occasional students who are, perish the thought to them, difficult to say the least.  They either want you to do all the work for them & refuse any other type of assistance. Then there are the ones that just seem to always carry that 'deer in headlights' appearance, no matter how many different ways you find to explain even the simplest task.  They're are also the students who have already decided that they want to be a butt head, & then act upon that decision for no real reason at all besides there either just not happy, or a true butt head.

Most times you can tell what kind of person they are just by looking at them or the initial contact words...but sometimes, as everybody does sadly, we misjudge who the real butt head is.

I had a student who, to say the least, looked like a 'deer in headlights' type of student. One that was never going to get my instructions and just become confused to the point that I would end up doing it myself...Sweet but maybe a little special in the inner-head department.  She came and I lucked out that there weren't any available computers at the first time and she left. I secretly thanked the Lord God above and prayed she didn't return, but thank our heavenly Father He knows what is best and doesn't always answer us.  She returned, while I was in the middle of a situation with the wonderful lady I have been blessed to work under and alongside, and low and behold but who walked in but whom I deemed the 'special' student.  Pam let me handle it since I had already talked with the student on what it was she was wanting (which I was soooo excited about) and grudgingly walked with her to the computer...

Well I had a surprise blessing and lesson that day!  She was such a joy to work with, understood what I told her, and was so amazed and exceedingly grateful for my help! She just had to show me her finished presentation's printout and happily went to her class to present it.  It really spoke to me about the Joy of the Lord and shining the light of Christ within us and left me feeling His love for us and everyone. It also made me look at myself and realize that I could definitely be categorized as a 'butt head'.

A few weeks later this was read during our morning power-up-a campus-wide daily ritual where we get news updates and thoughts to ponder upon and discuss, and sometimes a WOW story...boy was this a wow story to me! And I had the joy of helping create her presentation! I always make a point to greet this wonderful girl, daughter of the Most High God who helped me see how bright someones light can be. Helped me stop looking and judging what category everyone else was and look at myself and which one I could file myself into.

Here is her WOW story:

WOW:
PASS Advisor Jasmine McMillan gives her First Year Experience students a project to present their “brand.” It could be a tag line, an item, a mission statement, or a picture that represents what they want to say about themselves to the world. When the students were making their presentations, the last student stood up with a picture of a bench. She began to tell her story with her tag line “Remember the bench”.
She then went on to say, “A few years ago, I was homeless and living on the streets. I had three children and nowhere to go. I finally got tired and reflected on my life. I knew there had to be something better and I wanted a better life for my children. I was lost and had no direction so I went online and typed the word “Life.” Life University came up in my search. I looked at the website and got excited about what could be and the opportunity it would bring for my children. So here I am now, a student before you. I am a living example of what could be and what you can achieve if you only believe. When times get hard, I always tell myself, “Remember the bench”. When times get rough in class, I say, “Remember the bench.” I encourage all of you to look at this picture and realize what you have and what could be…and remember the bench.” When she finished, no one in her class remained unmoved.

Each of us would also do well to remember our blessings…to remember the struggles…and remember the bench. 8/16

Life University Daily Power up-Monday 8/16/2010

You are...

*Originally written on August 14th, 2010*

You are my DJ

You are the music

You are the bird singing out to me

You are the distance

You are my endurance

You keep me going

You are my path

You are my choice

You are the embracing breeze

You are the heavenly light above

You are its warmth

You are the warmth within me

You are the sweat that makes my face shine in the sun

You are the beat in my chest

You are the beat between my feet

You are the beat within my heart

You are the branch reaching out to touch me

You are the my starting line

You are the prize at the end

You are my partner

You are beside me

You are before me

You are my rear guard

Your glory surrounds me

Your love is within me

Your essence I feed on

You are my reason

You are my purpose

You are my all

You are I AM!

I walk blindly forward in the palm of your hand...

*Originally wrote on May 21st, 2010*

God has definitely guided me the last few days, I feel him around me, and although I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going, I have FINALLY learned to trust Him and just let it go!
Don't you just love when God really reveals himself to you?  He has really taken control and as my father, and shown me things about myself I don't like and made me get to a point where I had to give up control and hand it all to him.  And while that doesn't sound like a fun place to be, it is actually!  There is a sort of joy of 'letting go and letting God' that I guess comes from the fact that for most people its so hard to do!  When you reach that point in your life where you can truely hand it to him...gives me such a peace that I really do wonder why I didn't earlier!
the amazing ways that he has been moving in my life has me and all those effected really looking out to see what's next!  I look forward to new revelations and new little signs that are his way of saying 'I love you'!   It also has me looking at other areas of my life that maybe I haven't handed to him like I thought previously