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So I had a controlled anger-run today...which will be the norm for awhile. I had a someone send me a picture of himself and then his "little buddy" and made a comment regarding the time I got off work and what I did for fun. After totally freaking out, I realized that when I upgraded my Facebook they re-posted my phone number. I had a suspect I thought it may be so I blocked him.  I then talked to my boss, then the campus cop to make a report where he helped me retrieve the number and will be calling him for me to let him know I don't appreciate him contacting me, ever. When I returned to the library for some reason my boss and coworkers couldn't pull his profile so I unblocked him to pull it up and lo, it's gone....and here I was starting to feel like I was jumping to conclusions, and I may still be, but how creepy is that? 

Now I am being walked to my car after work, and basically trail running outside in this beautiful early spring weather is out of the question for the moment. My walks at lunch around the building while reading are even being questioned and I've had to locate my pepper spray....the pervert.

In other news, I have yet another blood test tomorrow, this one I can't shower beforehand in case the soap causes a reaction, and is also fasting.  After this I'm being put on two more medications for a month. One is an estrogen-hormone pill I'll take for 28 days, the other is one I start on day 14 and take through day 26, which is supposed to yet again cause some bleeding 2 days after the fact.  The last time they put me on it alone for 10 days I never started so we shall see.  Then I have another follow-up appointment, this one after the routine physical I scheduled at my primary care doctor. 

So what's wrong with me you may ask, sorry I'm asking the same question.  For those who I haven't talked to about this, I'll finally be open (I guess if you've stuck around reading my blog for this long you deserve it), I haven't had my monthly cycle for over 6 months.  Why? that's what is being tested.  I started the first day of high school and was irregular from the beginning, of course being told that it's normal for the first year. Then it was normal for the first couple years, then few years until I graduated at 17 still skipping months all the time. Sometime after age 18 when they started growing closer together (more than 1 per month) I finally saw the doctor regarding them and started my trials of different birth controls, which always screwed me up by the end.  I've been told it's due to my weight, exercise habit, both of which are perfectly under control now and have been for awhile and still...nothing folks. 

I don't want a pill, I want to know why...early menopause, Celiac disease, genetics, I don't care at this point as long as I knew what! I don't want to sit here and be a birth control test subject, I don't want to take it at all honestly. I don't want to take the stupid pills they're giving me now, I'm just dealing with them since it's only temporary and will hopefully bring closure to this horrible chapter of my life.

Part of me feels that it, along with my IBS issues, are both somehow also related to the crap they keep putting into foods-by genetically modifying them or spraying them with crazy chemicals-but that's just a theory, and a subject of another blog.

Well there's my rant, sorry I just need to get it all off my chest.  I know these trials will draw me closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior Christ Jesus as it is only His strength I'm running on at this point. My faith in Him, His love and protection, are what are keeping me sane at this point.  But all I ask is that I remain in your prayers.

From Running Away to Running Towards

Life goes by so quickly sometimes, changing in a blink of an eye.  So many things have occurred within the last few weeks its amazing, especially within the last few days, and yet-because He is with me-I will be alright.
So my grandmother died 2 weeks ago and having 9 living children (2 deceased) and no set will with a bunch of hearsay makes things interesting to say the least.

I cannot say I have a great deal of memories regarding my grandmother really, whenever we went down she was generally gossiping about one of her children so my sisters and I just went and watched TV most days, unless actual plans were made.  I only have one gift my grandmother gave me, a little bear when I was 9 years old which I still have today. 

It took a while for me to truly grasp the totality of what that meant.  It didn't really effect me too much it seemed and honestly the whole time I was more concerned about my mother because I know how close she was to her mom and I hadn't seen her really grieve. 

After going down to Florida for her memorial (which my mother was the speaker of), we left for a family-remembering type gathering afterwards, and along the way it finally came.  As usual all I wanted was to get away from everyone, to run.  From my feelings, from myself, from family.  But I couldn't this time, I HAD to face them, and I HAD to like it. 

As I walked in my cousin's house, her hug welcoming me was strange and uncomfortable and all I wanted was to hide, but of course that wasn't going to work and after a few minutes I grasped my sister, hid in the bathroom, and clung to her as hard as I could, I was held by her and held her in return and cried icy tears upon her shoulder. For the first time I opened up my full emotions to someone else, allowing someone to help me with the burden of my pain. I released.  Afterwards clearing my face, I managed to recollect wonderful memories with my sister and family of our trips to grandmother's house.

Due to disputes among my 8 aunts and uncles, my grandmother still has yet to be dealt with, she was supposed to be cremated, but only when all 9 living children signed in agreement.  This of course caused dissension among them, which stressed my 'peacemaker' mother out.   Well Easter Sunday was when God allowed her to hit the breaking point.  She ended up losing her short term memory, losing the entire last 2-weeks (her mother's death up till the present). She couldn't remember the month, day, where she got her shirt, her purse and shoes, where we were going, what she or we just said, that her mother died, that we had the memorial, or even that she spoke and sang at it.

This scared the crap out of me, but after looking at my older sister I realized I had to get a grip and get over it.  During church I just kept repeating by His stripes she IS healed. After church it started to get worse so we admitted her to a hospital, Tina staying with her and me taking up the responsibility of talking to everybody and informing until visiting hours.

Course this is the exact moment someone picked to discuss another personal matter, once which isn't worth even discussing now, but at the time, with so much going on already, wasn't quite the funnest thing to add on my quite-filled plate. I wanted to so badly but yet...still I couldn't run away, I had to be strong and face what lay head of me,  the feelings I was starting to crack under the weight of.

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. ³ And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴ Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ⁵ And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. ~Matthew 18:2-5 NKJV

So I became like a child again, clutching my sister now as she cried upon the bed wrapped in the quilt my mother made her mother, ate my aunt's homemade brownies and cookies, and cried myself-finally calling out to my heavenly Father, needing him to give me His strength in these present times of trouble.  The next morning I got up and after my shower I read my devotional and just sat with Him alone for about an hour or so, and the peace that goes beyond understanding came.

Long story short, after a 3-day stay at a local hospital and MANY tests, it ended up being TGA, Transient Global Amnesia.  Basically due to the high amount of emotional stress she was under.  We returned home and although the phone calls from Florida still occur daily, we are basically back to normal.  Of course I wanted to workout, it had been far too long for me doing any form of working out but strangely I really didn't feel like running.  I brushed it off and worked out at the gym, assuming I would the next day, but it came and as beautiful as the day was, I didn't really want to run.  Now this was foreign to me, any ONE of those things would have been more than enough to cause me to go on a crazy, wear out my feelings to God run and after all that not wanting to?  As I worked out at the gym He revealed it to me: for once I didn't need to.  He showed me that despite all the psycho events: losing any chance to grow my relationship with my only grandmother, the scare of mentally losing my mother forever, and other issues-all I needed truly was Him, and I had Him all along.  He helped me form an even stronger bond and open up to my sister in a way I haven't allowed myself really to anyone, grow a relationship with my aunt I never had, and through Him find an inner strength I didn't know I had. 

So I decided that Saturday, I was going to run just for the pure enjoyment. And it was awesome, the gentle breeze upon my face bringing the perfume of the honeysuckles and cologne of the evergreens. The bright blue sky, warmth of the sun upon my shoulders, trees standing guard, and flowers dressed in their best awaiting me to pass.  All of God's creation worshiping Him in His glory in their own unique way with me running by trying to absorb it all within me.  Even during my stretch I was amazed as a spider started to weave a beautiful string masterpiece, one tiny piece of delicate clear thread at a time.

And how long will its hard worked creation last?  A few moments, but long enough for me to enjoy. It's amazing how God even gave each creation a talent or hobby.  Mine I'm not sure of really, but I'll keep trying different things, and enjoying every form of art I find, loving Him with each expression.

The Embrace

*Originally written on March17th, 2011*

I almost didn't post this. It is going to be a personal, more intimate, blog-harder for me even than the last...which trust me was a stepping out. The only reason I have the strength to type this, besides God who inspired me in the first place, was a friend who helped me realize, although painful, open rejection is worth it if you can help just one soul. For isn't that exactly what Christ came and did, for each and every individual.  This subject came at random Tuesday morning on my way to work after a nice hour and a half oversleeping.

It all started with a song, but not one on the radio, not on my car CD player, not on my iPod or iPhone, but it played in my mind.

Natalie Imbruglia "Torn"

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around
And he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Or seem to care
What your heart is for
I don't know him anymore

There's nothin' where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothings right
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now, I don't care
I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch
I'm torn

There's nothin' he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right
I'm torn
Chorus

The chorus is what played continuously in my head.  Why on earth was I thinking of this song?  I've not heard its overplayed lyrics in years...and it came to me.

It's how the world leaves us and how we first embrace God. 

We start by seeking this spouse, beautiful looking, seeming to care...so we stray from God and instead pour out ourselves-our souls, revealing ourselves and all to be fooled and left alone bound and broken on the floor.  The 'perfect' sky, perfect idealistic life is torn slowly before our eyes. Like that famous emperor we are all promised by the world such a beautiful set of clothing, when really we are too prideful to realize how naked and foolish we really are.

"Bound, naked, ashamed".  We just want to hide, but it is this state that God wants to embrace us, comfort us...and its in this state we finally surrender all of ourselves to him, revealing our more sacred, tender side.

Our intimate parts.

I think this is a major part of why our relationship with Christ is compared to a marriage, there is just something about a newlywed couple...the wedding night, and the first time she undresses before Him-before anyone.  The first time she makes herself vulnerable to someone, to touch and to be touched.  For me, its something I fear-and yet-excitedly await.  As a girl who's waiting till she's married in a society where sex is something you do with anyone when your bored.

I have a horrible fear of being vulnerable.  I try to hide my true inner feelings, oh so many to hide it hurts so badly as they bleed forth from my heart, my eyes, and my knees as my legs collapse because I'd rather run then reveal who I really am to the world.  The pain of being ashamed that you feel makes the idea of any kind of intimacy difficult to grasp, especially that kind.  I can't even stare at some people in the eyes when I can tell they see through who I am (which is why cute shoes are always important) much less having that same person stare at me, undressed inside and out.

But there must be something to this, for Solomon wrote an entire book of the bible about the relationship between a man and a women. A relationship that, at least as a girl, is what I've been awaiting my heavenly Father to bring me. My soul mate, the one who I complete, that I can unite with and create one being with. A Song of Solomon is book too often skipped and overlooked, under-read, its become the scarlet letter of the bible. Ashamed, people often try to make excuses about how it 'accidently' got inserted...But I find it to be one of the most intriguing and beautiful books within the bible. 

Now I'm not saying I believe that it represents our relationship with God, but to me it reveals why God creates sex as such an important event.  It was the first command God gave Adam and Eve. To multiply-well there is only one way to really do that. And I'm not trying to glamorize sex.  It is a very physical event between two people and not the fairytale they make little girls believe to keep them a virgin as long as possible. I realize this, but I guess as someone on the outside of things, and very inexperienced in this area (OBVIOUSLY), its what I see and feel.

Since we are the bride of Christ, we begin our marriage when we come to Him naked and broken...awaiting His touch to heal our hearts as we then lovingly embrace each other.  There is something about being in the arms of Christ that I think cannot be compared to anything earthly and yet...every true believer that has a deep relationship with the Lord understands, in their own personal way; a way no other being does. 

Not to get on this again, but we would never understand the deep meaningful intimate embrace of our Lord Jesus Christ if it wasn't for the painful rejection of the world. 

*Comment from original post:

Love it love! Thanks for being so raw and open. I LOVE reading your writings! It inspires me to want to write in my blog… if I could only bring myself to do it haha

Chelsi

My Joshua Tree

*Originally written on March 12th, 2011*

I'm currently reading a new book, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, A Memoir...and although the beginning was kinda slow, I've really started to enjoy it.  Before I even hit 50 pages, I've already had a few lines speak to me.

It wasn't just any tree. It was an ancient Joshua tree. It stood in a crease of land where the desert ended and the mountain began, forming a wind tunnel. From the time the Joshua tree was a tiny sapling, it had been so beaten down by the whipping wind that, rather than trying to grow skyward, it had grown in the direction that the wind pushed it. It existed now in a permanent state of windblownness, leaning over so far that it seemed ready to topple, although, in fact, its roots held it firmly in place...One time I saw a tiny Joshua tree sapling growing not too far from the old tree, I wanted to dig it up and replant it near our house. I told Mom that I would protect it from the wind and water it every day so that it could grow nice and tall and straight.

Mom frowned at me. "You'd be destroying what makes it special," she said. "It's the Joshua tree's struggle that gives it its beauty."

 Now I know we've all heard variations of this type of story, I remember Joyce Meyer's using a version with a baby eagle, but there are so many elements to this one that make it reach me even deeper.  First off I love the name of the tree, it reminds me of Joshua in the bible, like the tree standing strong he was one of the only two Israelites who left Egypt to get to see the promise land after 40 years in the dessert.  Because he had faith in his God and knew that God kept His word.

 "No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.  This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:5-9

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

All those who have accepted Christ are children of God, we are sons and daughters! Heirs of the King!  But we, just as the Joshua tree was made to withstand the wind and dessert weather, are made to withstand.

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. ¹¹ Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,^[c] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6:10-13

Its our struggle against all the opposing forces that shape us into who we are. If we never had any battles, we would never learn how strong our heavenly Father is, how much He loves us, adores us...like any relationship its the hard times that help the relationship blossom and the two people together even more.  We learn more of God's character, and more of the character He created us with. 

A friend of mine on facebook put up two statuses that God spoke to me though at around the same time:

"When you believe in Jesus you are saved, when you realize that Jesus believes in you, it will radically mess you up!!!!"

and "Jesus came to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable"

The more you learn and trust in Jesus and His unmerited favor (grace) that He blesses us with if we choose to accept it, the more battles we will have to endure to truly grasp even a fraction of the love Christ really has for us.  Until you have a hard battle, you never know you could endure that battle through His strength.  Until Peter stepped out of the boat to walk on the water, He never knew that through Christ, he could.  Before Job lost everything he had built around himself, he never knew-or would have probably believed-that he even could endure so much hardship though our Father. He never understood or grasped a fraction of the full power and love of the amazing YAH. I never knew I would be able to endure a Father with a tumor for 15 years, an eating disorder, running 13.1 miles, or even my biggest battle I'm currently undergoing~myself, until He brought me though all of them (and still is) with His peace and love. Holding me the whole way, cradling me, embracing me and capturing all my tears, crying some of His own while watching me go though these battles.  We have to be afflicted to find the true comfort that comes from Jesus. 

On a date, hiking Sweet Water Creek, Ga., after our picnic walking back we passed a tree covered in knotts and while my date thought it was hidious, I found it strangly intreguing, beautiful.  I think this is how the world sees us, our battles look ugly and they don't understand. They are outside of His peace, they are looking down at the problem and down at themselves. But through the eyes of God, when we keep our focus on things above, on Christ, on our Father above who guides us through His love, we are beautiful! 
We, like the little girl, try to protect ourselves, hide from the hardships, from the wind of the world that tries to tear out our roots, but that will just kill us, destroy our beauty. We cannot grow strong without something (or someone) to fight against. 

When we are planted in Christ...having done all, we WILL STAND no matter how the wind pulls at us. No matter how the battle is perceived from the outside world.  

And while we feel ugly, forgotten and alone in the cold dessert night, all the time God stands beside us, painting our lives into a personal and unique masterpiece, beautiful and unlike any other on earth.

my next painting, I think I too want to paint a Joshua tree...my Joshua tree...

Cleansing Your Temple Through Christ

*Originally written on January 12th, 2011*

With this time of the year comes diets, diet pills, weight loss surgeries, healthy eating shows, 'magical' weightless clothing, reattempted new year's resolutions, crazy-packed gyms, & probably the highest profit scales make all year...its a constant reminder to me of a mindset I have to battle with, feeling like I'm a fat tub of lard of a failure and need to go crazy on cutting out everything unhealthy I eat and redesign my eating habits, eat less, workout more, push myself harder and try to achieve more and make myself actually feel proud of myself for once.  But God is gracious enough to remind me every time that there is no amount of my mental 'law' I can achieve, I can accomplish that will bring true joy. It's only through Christ, His sacrifice and grace, His unmerited favor upon my life that gives me anything, any joy or peace.  So let's refocus this health craze into proper perspective...lets go biblical!

Abraham: lived before the law was ever made & was the man God made a covenant with.  He gave Him health and the world, & that was before the law was ever even established!  This alone should show us that there is no power in the law with taking care of yourself. 

Joseph Prince mentioned that there are only 2 people in the bible that Jesus Christ calls having strong faith:  the Centurion and the Canaanite women.  Now what do these 2 people have in common?  That they are both gentiles and were never taught about the law!  All they knew was Jesus and His power and glory, no law telling them how they failed and what they didn’t achieve…This is the kind of faith we need to have!  Faith that Christ can do all and that through Him, so can we as long as it is in His will!

Next some bible verses!

Jesus Cleanses the Temple 

Matthew 21:

12 Then Jesus went into the temple of God^[f] and drove out all those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. 13 And He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’^[g] but you have made it a ‘den of thieves.’”^[h]
14 Then the blind and the lame came to Him in the temple, and He healed them. 15 But when the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things that He did, and the children crying out in the temple and saying, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant 16 and said to Him, “Do You hear what these are saying?”
And Jesus said to them, “Yes. Have you never read,

      ‘ Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants
      You have perfected praise’?”^[i]

I would also like John's perspective on this:

John 2:

13 Now the Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 And He found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers doing business. 15 When He had made a whip of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers’ money and overturned the tables. 16 And He said to those who sold doves, “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” 17 Then His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for Your house has eaten^[a] Me up.”^[b]
18 So the Jews answered and said to Him, “What sign do You show to us, since You do these things?”
19 Jesus answered and said to them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”
20 Then the Jews said, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and will You raise it up in three days?”
21 But He was speaking of the temple of His body. 22 Therefore, when He had risen from the dead, His disciples remembered that He had said this to them;^[c] and they believed the Scripture and the word which Jesus had said.

Paul said:

 1 Corinthians 3:

9 For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, you are God’s building. 10 According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. 11 For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, 13 each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. 14 If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.
16" Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? 17 If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are." Glorify God in Body and Spirit. 

1 Corinthians 6:

12 All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 13 Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power.
15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”^[b] 17 But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body^[c] and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Ephesians 2:

14 For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, 15 having abolished in His flesh the enmity, that is, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, 16 and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. 17 And He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near. 18 For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father.

Christ Our Cornerstone

  
19 Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, 20 having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone, 21 in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, 22 in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit. 

I think its clear that we are indeed the temple of God.  When Christ died for our sins, tearing down the old temple and He was resurrected and brought up a new temple within each of us, within our hearts.  How we care for our temple is obviously important!  Christ is living within YOU!  His clensing blood, His redemptive blood that brings grace and washes us flows continuously through us once we accept Him into our hearts!  That is quite an important job, that is a very important reason to take care of your temple, if there even is a better one. And not because its by YOUR power or YOUR ability or awesomeness or law or whatever, for nothing is done by you, but by Christ within you!  He is the reason to and the way to!

An important way to look at taking care of your temple is to see how Christ cleaned up the earthly temple. In Matthew it reports Christ comparing the temple to a den of thieves, that's powerful.  How do you steal from your temple?  What are you buying and selling within your temple?  Instead of giving a true sacrifice of yourself to God, what is it that is taking the place, what selfish and perhaps unhealthy habit are you giving into?  And this does not remain within the physical boundaries, what selfish habits or things do you have that you know you should stop that you keep putting before God?  That's taking place before Him...it could even be some sort of religious act, remember the doves were for sacrifices! 

What did Christ say the temple was supposed to be…a house of prayer!  This just shows even more how it’s not by our own strength but God's that we can truly care for our temple in the way He intended!  It first and foremost is about our communication, love, affection, and relationship with God our Heavenly Father-which we do though Jesus Christ, His son and His sacrifice that allows us to be called sons and heirs!
Right after all that, Jesus began to heal those who needed it...this shows me that once you get your temple in proper order, then and only then will you see miracles and healings. Then you will have true health and wealth. First comes cleansing and then comes healing and miracles but you limit Christ by the condition of your temple.

After that, we shall sing praises to Christ and our Heavenly Father for all His mercy, grace, & love and this will bring the last of the trio: happiness. For true happiness comes when you stop looking at yourself, your limits, and what you can and cannot do and begin to keep your eyes on the prize, on the light, on the Son of God Jesus Christ and the Father Almighty!  Then His amazing overpowering joy will come over you!

One part that John brings up also is that this was during Passover.  Passover is a time of remembrance of the story of Exodus...and the creation of the law. Christ was showing that none of their sacrifices were good enough for their sins, and their heart behind them, the most important aspect, was also totally wrong!  It took His death upon the cross to completely 'cleanse' the temple, and tear the veil of separation between God and man so that He could afterwards always have a connection to keep the temple clean!  Jesus will do all the work!  Through His awesome glory and power, through His amazing love I cannot begin to fathom, He not only cleans our temple and makes a way for us to reach the Father and be called His son, AND He'll help to keep the temple clean! 

The Son of God became the Son of Man and died for all our sins and transgressions, our sicknesses, our pains, our dirt...so that we can change from being just a son of man into a son of God and spend eternity with the Father and Him!  Now that's love!

So how do we keep our temple clean?  Not by our works but by His work! Does this mean I can do whatever in the heck I want and Christ will just act like a maid and clean it all up?  Not so much people. Christ still expected them to try and keep the temple clean, keep their hearts in the right place.  And when Christ lives in your heart, He’ll guide you and keep your heart in the right place if you truly listen to Him through prayer, meditation, and a relationship with Him.

Paul mentions that how we build our temple, what it’s made of, is very important so that when we are tested we can withstand.  This applies spiritually and physically. We need to be strong in all 3 of ourselves, Physical body, Soul (emotions and mind) body, and Spirit body.  When we are tested by fire, when the world throws things at you, what we are made of will show! Remember we represent Him!  He also mentions while he can do all things, that doesn't mean he should do all things. Yes, there is a difference. He then names food and sexual sins, physical sins!  And then reminds us that we are not our own and were bought at a price, and that price was the cross!  Let’s make sure we are worth the purchase! 

Through Christ we have a peace between the law and grace, He achieves the law which we could not for us, and brings peace between us and the Father! And we are all in this together!  We are all, as Christians, the temple of God-singularly and collectively-and we should help lift each other up! We are His body!  Be a blessing to one another and inspire one another to keep taking care of themselves, reminding each other of who we are, of our identity in Christ and strengthen each other...With Christ and as a team we can achieve a true health and happiness!

*Comments from old blog:

Yet again thank you biblegateway.com! (me)

Becca, this is really good! I really needed to read this It is always a good reminder of how important it is to take care of our bodies God’s way rather than “our” way, and how we don’t need to live by the law. I wonder when I’ll ever truly get that through my head! Love you

Chelsi

http://runningdisciple.blogspot.com/

 

Thanks! It was all Him because I needed it myself lol! Glad it could help somebody besides myself (^-^) (Me again)

 

Letting my hair down

*Originally written on January 8th, 2011*

Underneath the crystal ice sky the glorious sun envelops, His magnificent warmth embracing me, as He gently carasses my skin.  I begin to move quicker now, getting energized by His power with each step I take down the road well traveled.  Trees guide me along and I begin to lose myself within the anointing falling upon me; the wind pushes me farther into His presence.  For the first time, I raise my hand and slowly release the pressure that holds me back, reminding me of all that I need to attain, to strive for to ever be considered worthy for anyone...for the first time I run with my hair down.

At first, it stays down, not sure of what happened, it quietly lays upon my back but as I keep striving toward Him, it begins to loosen up and soon enough catches the breeze and sways with the world.  I hit a sunny patch and begin to feel as if my hair smiles behind me as it seems to absorb every ray...it begins to dance, dance to its own unique rhythm, its own beat. Reminded of the divine purpose, its reason for being.  It's my crowning glory, my stand of faith-a sign to my Almighty Heavenly Father of my stand in faith, my trust in Him, His power, His decision, and His guidance.  Each strand of hair has a number that God has given it, its very own number, and not one that falls isn't noticed.  

A confidence grows within my heart, my spirit...I am a daughter of God, made in His image, His likeness, shining His light to the world...this run has re-powered me, reminding me of something the world tries to make me forget, but my love for Him I shall never forget.

Who's the real butt head here...

*Originally written August 20th, 2010*

God has really put upon my heart the search for true joy, happiness, and contentment.  I want to shine His light unto all the world & show them His love that is much needed...& part of this process is realizing who you really are, who you've become when you weren't looking.

I work in a library at a college & there are occasional students who are, perish the thought to them, difficult to say the least.  They either want you to do all the work for them & refuse any other type of assistance. Then there are the ones that just seem to always carry that 'deer in headlights' appearance, no matter how many different ways you find to explain even the simplest task.  They're are also the students who have already decided that they want to be a butt head, & then act upon that decision for no real reason at all besides there either just not happy, or a true butt head.

Most times you can tell what kind of person they are just by looking at them or the initial contact words...but sometimes, as everybody does sadly, we misjudge who the real butt head is.

I had a student who, to say the least, looked like a 'deer in headlights' type of student. One that was never going to get my instructions and just become confused to the point that I would end up doing it myself...Sweet but maybe a little special in the inner-head department.  She came and I lucked out that there weren't any available computers at the first time and she left. I secretly thanked the Lord God above and prayed she didn't return, but thank our heavenly Father He knows what is best and doesn't always answer us.  She returned, while I was in the middle of a situation with the wonderful lady I have been blessed to work under and alongside, and low and behold but who walked in but whom I deemed the 'special' student.  Pam let me handle it since I had already talked with the student on what it was she was wanting (which I was soooo excited about) and grudgingly walked with her to the computer...

Well I had a surprise blessing and lesson that day!  She was such a joy to work with, understood what I told her, and was so amazed and exceedingly grateful for my help! She just had to show me her finished presentation's printout and happily went to her class to present it.  It really spoke to me about the Joy of the Lord and shining the light of Christ within us and left me feeling His love for us and everyone. It also made me look at myself and realize that I could definitely be categorized as a 'butt head'.

A few weeks later this was read during our morning power-up-a campus-wide daily ritual where we get news updates and thoughts to ponder upon and discuss, and sometimes a WOW story...boy was this a wow story to me! And I had the joy of helping create her presentation! I always make a point to greet this wonderful girl, daughter of the Most High God who helped me see how bright someones light can be. Helped me stop looking and judging what category everyone else was and look at myself and which one I could file myself into.

Here is her WOW story:

WOW:
PASS Advisor Jasmine McMillan gives her First Year Experience students a project to present their “brand.” It could be a tag line, an item, a mission statement, or a picture that represents what they want to say about themselves to the world. When the students were making their presentations, the last student stood up with a picture of a bench. She began to tell her story with her tag line “Remember the bench”.
She then went on to say, “A few years ago, I was homeless and living on the streets. I had three children and nowhere to go. I finally got tired and reflected on my life. I knew there had to be something better and I wanted a better life for my children. I was lost and had no direction so I went online and typed the word “Life.” Life University came up in my search. I looked at the website and got excited about what could be and the opportunity it would bring for my children. So here I am now, a student before you. I am a living example of what could be and what you can achieve if you only believe. When times get hard, I always tell myself, “Remember the bench”. When times get rough in class, I say, “Remember the bench.” I encourage all of you to look at this picture and realize what you have and what could be…and remember the bench.” When she finished, no one in her class remained unmoved.

Each of us would also do well to remember our blessings…to remember the struggles…and remember the bench. 8/16

Life University Daily Power up-Monday 8/16/2010

You are...

*Originally written on August 14th, 2010*

You are my DJ

You are the music

You are the bird singing out to me

You are the distance

You are my endurance

You keep me going

You are my path

You are my choice

You are the embracing breeze

You are the heavenly light above

You are its warmth

You are the warmth within me

You are the sweat that makes my face shine in the sun

You are the beat in my chest

You are the beat between my feet

You are the beat within my heart

You are the branch reaching out to touch me

You are the my starting line

You are the prize at the end

You are my partner

You are beside me

You are before me

You are my rear guard

Your glory surrounds me

Your love is within me

Your essence I feed on

You are my reason

You are my purpose

You are my all

You are I AM!