My Joshua Tree

*Originally written on March 12th, 2011*

I'm currently reading a new book, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, A Memoir...and although the beginning was kinda slow, I've really started to enjoy it.  Before I even hit 50 pages, I've already had a few lines speak to me.

It wasn't just any tree. It was an ancient Joshua tree. It stood in a crease of land where the desert ended and the mountain began, forming a wind tunnel. From the time the Joshua tree was a tiny sapling, it had been so beaten down by the whipping wind that, rather than trying to grow skyward, it had grown in the direction that the wind pushed it. It existed now in a permanent state of windblownness, leaning over so far that it seemed ready to topple, although, in fact, its roots held it firmly in place...One time I saw a tiny Joshua tree sapling growing not too far from the old tree, I wanted to dig it up and replant it near our house. I told Mom that I would protect it from the wind and water it every day so that it could grow nice and tall and straight.

Mom frowned at me. "You'd be destroying what makes it special," she said. "It's the Joshua tree's struggle that gives it its beauty."

 Now I know we've all heard variations of this type of story, I remember Joyce Meyer's using a version with a baby eagle, but there are so many elements to this one that make it reach me even deeper.  First off I love the name of the tree, it reminds me of Joshua in the bible, like the tree standing strong he was one of the only two Israelites who left Egypt to get to see the promise land after 40 years in the dessert.  Because he had faith in his God and knew that God kept His word.

 "No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.  This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:5-9

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

All those who have accepted Christ are children of God, we are sons and daughters! Heirs of the King!  But we, just as the Joshua tree was made to withstand the wind and dessert weather, are made to withstand.

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. ¹¹ Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,^[c] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6:10-13

Its our struggle against all the opposing forces that shape us into who we are. If we never had any battles, we would never learn how strong our heavenly Father is, how much He loves us, adores us...like any relationship its the hard times that help the relationship blossom and the two people together even more.  We learn more of God's character, and more of the character He created us with. 

A friend of mine on facebook put up two statuses that God spoke to me though at around the same time:

"When you believe in Jesus you are saved, when you realize that Jesus believes in you, it will radically mess you up!!!!"

and "Jesus came to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable"

The more you learn and trust in Jesus and His unmerited favor (grace) that He blesses us with if we choose to accept it, the more battles we will have to endure to truly grasp even a fraction of the love Christ really has for us.  Until you have a hard battle, you never know you could endure that battle through His strength.  Until Peter stepped out of the boat to walk on the water, He never knew that through Christ, he could.  Before Job lost everything he had built around himself, he never knew-or would have probably believed-that he even could endure so much hardship though our Father. He never understood or grasped a fraction of the full power and love of the amazing YAH. I never knew I would be able to endure a Father with a tumor for 15 years, an eating disorder, running 13.1 miles, or even my biggest battle I'm currently undergoing~myself, until He brought me though all of them (and still is) with His peace and love. Holding me the whole way, cradling me, embracing me and capturing all my tears, crying some of His own while watching me go though these battles.  We have to be afflicted to find the true comfort that comes from Jesus. 

On a date, hiking Sweet Water Creek, Ga., after our picnic walking back we passed a tree covered in knotts and while my date thought it was hidious, I found it strangly intreguing, beautiful.  I think this is how the world sees us, our battles look ugly and they don't understand. They are outside of His peace, they are looking down at the problem and down at themselves. But through the eyes of God, when we keep our focus on things above, on Christ, on our Father above who guides us through His love, we are beautiful! 
We, like the little girl, try to protect ourselves, hide from the hardships, from the wind of the world that tries to tear out our roots, but that will just kill us, destroy our beauty. We cannot grow strong without something (or someone) to fight against. 

When we are planted in Christ...having done all, we WILL STAND no matter how the wind pulls at us. No matter how the battle is perceived from the outside world.  

And while we feel ugly, forgotten and alone in the cold dessert night, all the time God stands beside us, painting our lives into a personal and unique masterpiece, beautiful and unlike any other on earth.

my next painting, I think I too want to paint a Joshua tree...my Joshua tree...

Proverbs Lady

*Originally written on January 7th, 2011*

A friend recently posted her goals for the new year on her blog, and while I have some, I never thought about typing them out anywhere, but since I have some free time at work I decided why the heck not.  Writing (or typing currently) is supposed to help anyhoo.

• Work on being a 'Proverbs Woman' and all that it entitles. Study this chapter more intensely and let the Lord guide me.
• Take my workout routine and make it livable, I want to live for the Lord and take care of myself for Him, not before Him.  Keep my life centered around Him, His love and plans for me...to live and have my being centered around 'being about HIS business' and I think that health and fitness are a huge component of that, and He wouldn't have given me such a passion for it if it wasn't. We are His temple, His dwelling place-we shine His light & bear His image!  He hand crafted each and every one of us and how we take care of His temple, how we show it respect (or a lack there of) shows our love and respect toward Him and His gift and sacrifice.  He has become the primary reason for and a major component of my workout routine, and I want to keep that up also, I always feel such an amazing bond with Him during my workout times, it's a time I use to reflect upon Him and absorb as much of  Him in as possible! I don't want ANYTHING to hinder that, I don't want ANYTHING before Him so I want to just recheck myself this year and make sure everything remains in the proper order!
• Also, I want to help my Mother get back into fitness. We eat crazy healthy enough, but after some injuries she's had a hard time getting back into the routine, so I am giving myself a goal to help!  She's done and does so much for me it's the least I can do! I love her so much and want her to be around a long time! She already wants to herself so I just want to help!
• I've recently gotten into sewing and I would like to continue to grow my skills at it, I hope God continues to provide people to make quilts for so my talent can blossom!  I have gotten bitten by the quilt-giving bug lol, its all my Mom's fault, thank you so much Mom!
• Start a granny square afghan, complete my 'joy' collage, & would like to get back into drawing & painting (including pottery)...and maybe if I'm lucky, scrapbook sometime this year :p
• Make a mosaic & a batik, learn to knit.
• Continue with my goal to get out of debt and complete it within the 3 years I originally planned!
• Increase my distance run by 2 miles. A friend has bugged me about not making any major fitness goals so besides the one previously mentioned...this will be it.
• Work on my handwriting, I love writing letters, but I feel for the poor soul that is reading them!  My handwriting gets pretty bad at the end, especially when I am writing about some strange thought or idea the Lord gave me, or a bible verse He showed Me I excitedly wanted to share, and my thoughts are going faster than I can comprehend, and that's way faster than I can write!  While they've never said anything, I still would like to have a handwriting that wasn't described as what a serial killers would look like.
• Don't take life too seriously, or myself!  Work on keeping joy of the Lord in every and all situations, keeping an optimistic attitude always, continuously loving and laughing, and learning to continue to see myself though His eyes!

God has really been dealing with me regarding the 'law' I set for myself and my perfectionism...how I need to let go and let God.  Embrace His sacrifice and unmerited favor, His amazing grace that saved a retch like me. Joseph Prince, in his book Unmerited Favor, has been discussing Christ's success, and that even before the 10 commandments were created, Joseph obeyed them (think on the Potiphar's wife situation).  He had the guidance, grace, and righteousness of Christ, before Moses ever created the law, Before Christ came upon the earth.  This confuses me a bit and is something I want to think on and study more intensively so I find it ironic that without trying I managed to create 10 goals...this speaks of something but what I'm not sure lol.



According to Christian Resources Today

Ten : 10 - Biblical Meaning of Number: deals with completeness that happens in a divine order or completed during a course of time. There's nothing that is left wanting within the complete cycle the number "ten" has just completed.
(In today's society this number is looked at mostly when referring to some kind of ranking or describing something that's close to perfection)