ablaze

Looking over some of my old blog posts, trying to find one for a friend got me rereading a few, these in particular

BeYOUtiful

The Embrace

It's amazing how although written so long ago, it can really speak to me even now.  I realize despite all my efforts I'm still battling the same self disapproval...but I still hold the same hope :) I can see how I've grown from then till now and look over some of my walk with the Lord.

I've really recently been wanting to start back on my morning studies with the Lord, and now after meeting some wonderful fitness-minded Christians I really want to work again on improving my health. While my trip to Florida was amazing and blessed, I ate so much crap I've really and how that effects my body.  While I do believe in balance and moderation, I think I need to gain some moderation again.  So I will be trying to eat healthy again, getting back into shape and treating my temple with the respect it deserves.  Cause it's more then a bunch of crap I plop on the scale and get annoyed at once in awhile, it's me.  It's His temple and artwork...while I won't go into writing all that again, It's amazing how the passions of others can ignite you the embers of a fire that once burned so much more fierce!

Just wait, one day maybe I will be a fitness model, or at least one day I'll be able to achieve every obstacle during a race. 

Maybe one day I will look in the mirror and not find one single thing wrong with myself.

Naked Ugliness, continued...

It is very weird to be inspired to draw something like this while at church, when the pastor is preaching about Christ's goodness and power in Revelation...but God has his own timing on things...

now I warn you that I've not drawn in over 7 years, and I only have a middle school art education but here it is. It is titled The Embrace although it is my version of what I wrote about in a previous post.

How much I cannot wait to open up to someone, for someone to see my ugly side and accept it willingly. It's hard for me to believe that someone ever will truly accept me for all of me. It's easy to say but when it comes down to it, will my ugly side be acceptable? Or maybe it's my inability to accept my ugly side myself which makes me think this...and maybe the day I finally find that person who does, it will help me be able to accept my ugliness for myself. 

Coming downOne love, two mouthsOne love, one houseNo shirt, no blouseJust us, you find out

Nothing that I wouldn't wanna tell you about, no, no, no 

This verse also does bring my desire to stand with someone, bearing all physically and feel their warmth against mine...hey I am a person!  It's not something I was going to put but to be totally open I will.  The idea of one day having the warmth of someone else's skin against mine, chest to chest, excites me.  Being someone who is always cold, getting warm and being embraced by something other then a hoodie or blanket sounds awesome.

 I'm not sure how much I like this, but it's a step toward something...I'm hoping God will inspire me further and perhaps I can develop my passion more. It is very hard for me to post this, publicly, it is like opening a very intimate secret part of myself for everyone but I am anyways, at least on here.